Hey, I'm new to the support group after listening to a lot of back episodes of the podcast. I find the advice is stuff I know but need reminding of.
Anyway, I just wanted to ask everyone how you focus on success? I finally had the courage to go shopping for shorts today after 2 summers of not wearing them out of pure shame, and I was horrified by my thighs in the mirror. The same size in jeans fits great, and in shorts I felt like a jiggly thighed sausage. I know the jiggle is partly from fat going away and muscle not being there yet... Or I hope. But the whole experience made me walk out of the store with nothing, feeling like a fat girl all over again. My weight loss continues in the right direction, but I perceive this as a setback. Does anyone else have moments like this, when you are right back to feeling horribly about yourself? And how do you deal?
Thanks everyone!

I am a big believer in support in your life. I started my latest (and final!) journey to be fit last September. I am 67 lbs down from then. I was doing it on my own from September until Christmas vacation. At that point, after about 25 lbs, my wife and our friends started counting calories and working out, too. Since then, I've been able to stay on track and lose lots more fat. I am constantly around people who are either conscious of what I am doing or they are doing the same thing. I've even trained the people at work, and most of the people there are supportive, too. Staying on track with a support system, both online and in real life, has been integral to my success. That is how I deal with setbacks and poor feelings about myself.

That being said, I have slowly but steadily started to shift my thinking from results to work. What you experienced was not a setback, just a perception issue. My happiness cannot be tied to having unrealistic expectations about myself. I'm not going to wake up tomorrow with Ryan Reynolds' abs (though my wife would be quite pleased!). However, I will get up and work out. And I will be within my calories. And I will keep researching the best methods for losing fat and how to cycle calories in order to get me there. And I will take action every single day.

That action is what makes me happy. My fat, I have noticed, took awhile to start visibly disappearing, then it started creeping in from my extremities, where I have less fat to begin with. I remember joking that I was doing all this work, and all I was getting was skinny wrists and ankles! Well, having continued, now my ankles and knees and forearms and elbows and biceps and triceps are all looking quite trim. And my face! My thighs and belly and lower back fat are all still there, though. But they are getting smaller. I take measurements because I can't see the difference from week to week. But a quarter inch gone is good.

Keep going. Keep working. Get your happiness and joy and acceptance for yourself from the work you put in. The results will come. I promise.

Sometimes, nothing seems to be happening, but your body is changing. Like Jeff and Russ said at one point, sometimes you've got to fake it until you make it.

Oh, and practical advice... capri pants are something you can wear until you feel comfortable with your problem area.

Good luck! Let us know how you do.

Danielle,
I can definitely empathize with you. Shopping for new clothes can be so frustrating and disheartening, especially if we are not where we want to be physically. A couple of days ago I went shopping for a smaller size of jeans. My current size (and the same size in a few different brands) are getting quite roomy (though they aren't falling off me or anything that extreme). So I felt confident that I was ready to drop another size. Although I could just barely zip up that smaller size, I sure couldn't breathe in them! I went home disappointed and feeling negative about myself.

When I got home I decided to pep myself up with some positive self-talk and I also looked at a few photos from 2 months ago when I couldn't even zip up the pant size that is now roomy. I also looked through the daily weigh in numbers I log on my iPod touch app to see that while there are plenty of days when my numbers went up, the majority of days/weeks are slowly moving down and I am making progress.

I'd encourage you to (if you aren't already doing it) to take measurements of your body or perhaps start tracking and recording your weekly weight so over time you can monitor your progress and remind yourself that you are indeed working towards a healthier fit body and with time your physcial appearance will reflect these changes.

Good luck and keep us posted!

p.s. I agree with Leo - capri pants are so cute and that's what I find to be really comfy right now!