I started my weight loss journey about two years ago, and have kept off about thirty pounds. I still have another twenty to go until I reach my goal weight, but I've noticed my mental health deteriorating.

When I started the journey, I wanted to lose weight so I wouldn't have to think about weight or food anymore and I could concentrate on more important things in life. But after two years of constant monitoring, I've realized that my life revolves around eating and exercise. I find myself thinking about food ALL THE TIME. This wasn't supposed to happen!

Is anyone else experiencing this? I know Jeff and Russ say to live the life of the healthy person you want to be, but I know healthy people don't obsess like this. (In fact, many don't even really seem to think about food very much at all.)

Any suggestions on how to get over this hurdle? I am starting to think that I will need to sacrifice either my mental health or my physical health- I can't have both.

Thank you!

Hi AJ. I've managed to lose 57 lbs since September. Around January 1st, my wife and our two best friends started the journey as well. As a group of friends who hang out a lot, and as a couple who are always together, we are always planning our meals, accounting for calories, and talking about what we are doing for exercise.

Let's face it, we are different from the naturally thin people who don't have to think about food at all.

Tom Venuto says on his Burn The Fat Blog that there are four stages to get through when thinking about food.

Unconscious Incompetence is when you never think about food and you suck at limiting yourself. Wrong foods, wrong amounts, and you are not even aware of it.

Conscious Incompetence is where you realize you are eating the wrong foods in the wrong amounts. It's like hitting bottom, he says.

Conscious Competence is where you and I are. We are eating correctly because we are very aware of what we are eating at all times.

Unconscious Competence is where you are eating the right foods in the right amounts, but you are not even aware of it.

I would suggest that while you are trying to burn off the fat that you might want to stick with the third stage, and be aware of your food while eating the right foods in the right amounts. However, if you think you might be going crazy, maybe you need to practice just eyeballing it for a couple of weeks. Try to portion your foods like you know they should be, and eat the right kinds. But take a break from writing everything down.

Yes, you will lose some of that data. But you will gain an experience, and you will see if you are ready to eat like a thin person. My guess is that you can maintain your weight to within a few pounds if you try to stay careful, but aren't obsessing with scales, measuring cups and portion sizes.

And if you can move to stage four, wonderful! But if you can't, then stage three is an okay place to be. Food is our drug, AJ. But unlike any other addiction, we HAVE to consume ours every single day. If you have to stay vigilant, that's okay. Just figure out how you can do other things that are active and fun. Those are the times that I forget about food and accidentally skip a snack or something. It's not obsession. Just monitoring because we know our limitations.

Good luck!

Hi AJ, One thing struck me about your thread is this "but I know healthy people don't obsess like this. (In fact, many don't even really seem to think about food very much at all.)"..

All my life I've been slim and healthy (until a couple of years ago when I got sick) AND I think about food ALL THE TIME, including then. My cookbook collection is enormous and there's nothing more I love than cooking and going to markets to get fresh food and trying new ingredients.

After all that rambling, maybe it's not that you think about food all the time but that you see food as 'bad' instead of something pleasurable and nourishing. Can you turn to people who can turn your attitude to food more positively?

Just as an example, I just got a big Easter present (in Australia that means a whole heap of chocolates!). Since I loooove chocolate, I only kept two small pieces of finest quality chocolate and gave away the rest of the huge chocolate gift basket. Enjoying food doesn't have to be negative. It can mean you only treat yourself to the best because you deserve the best!

I agree with you, Tish! Since starting to eat healthy, I'm just as "obsessed" with food in that I think about it just as much, if not more, than when I was yo-yo dieting. Before, I would obsess only about how MUCH I'm eating. Now, I spend my time thinking what to make, what new healthy options to try, or how to make past favorite dishes into healthier alternatives.

As usual, I’m late to the party. I don’t know if I’m following you, but nonetheless…

This is one of the reasons that I stopped eating many (6-8) meals a day. Even though it became unconscious and robot-like, I was always working my life around calories and exercise. It was ruling me and I was nothing more than a slave to the lifestyle. I missed out on things because I was afraid to eat and miss workouts. I did, however, lose 100+ pounds this way. I also lost some enjoyment for life while doing so. Life isn’t supposed to be that way. Over the last several months I started changing my way of thinking, eating and exercise. I work out less, eat 3 meals a day and 1 pre-workout snack, and stopped believing every new fad that came along. I am stronger, my workouts are better, my weight is steady and I generally feel better. I have been told that I look better now that I did just a few months ago. What I am getting at is that something, maybe your unconscious mind, body, heart, whatever, may be trying to tell you something. Are you in a rut? Do you need a change? Are you overtraining or obsessed with exercise? You may just need to take a break for a few days. I believe that you need to look for that point where you feel comfortable doing what you are doing.

Diet and exercise to live, don’t live to diet and exercise.