I continue to get myself motivated and I can stay motivated. my biggest issue is putting that motivation into action.

Honestly I stay depressed about it and the fact that my fiance fights me on ever move.

I can't get up early in the morning because she will gripe for the rest of the day that I woke her up and she can't get back to sleep. She will ask if we can go and grab fast food, at first I say no I can't, but again she gets pissed and literally puts me down and then makes it worse by telling me I make her feel bad about herself when I say those things.

There are other issues, like the fact that I know my weakness' and I would rather useless foods like cakes and candy NOT be in the house. When I try to discuss it with her it starts world war 3.

Overall my life has turned into a constant fight with her. Day in and day out.

The woman now has convinced me to have my check direct deposited into her account. I went to get my medicine yesterday and they wouldn't give it to me because her name was on the card.

She was shopping elsewhere in the store and I asked her to come sign for it and you would think I just murdered someone by her reaction. She stomped through the store and yelled at the woman at the Pharmacy counter. Not only was I embarrassed because I'm an almost 30 year old man and had to use her card, even though it was my money, but she was HORRIBLY rude to this woman just doing her job.

I was doing good, I had lost 31 pounds my sugar was becoming more and more controllable but the constant fight and stress of someone else always being ready to explode just puts me in this 'what the hell is the use mindset'.

I need to get out of this house and this relationship so that I can get on with life. As it stands now I have diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholestrol, depression and I'm taking medication for all of it but at the end of the day I don't have the energy to fight her and to do what I need to do.

I feel so stuck in this horrible mess that I've allowed myself to get into and on top of all of it I feel like I failed as man.

I know that sounds backwards but I feel totally immasculated.

I've tried to leave before but she gets on her knee's screaming and crying and begging, promising she will change.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I had planned to leave once the debt we've accrued together is paid but she just insisted we buy new appliances and as usual I lost the argument.

All of these health conditions are going to kill me and coupled with the stress of this horrible life I don't know what to do anymore. Hell, I'm not even sure I know who I am anymore.

Leaving means starting from scratch. In three years I have given everything that I own to her and she has sold it or some other mess and has bought everything in her name. I wouldn't even have a car.

I've lost all my friends, I see my family only on holidays and even then I have to fight with her because she doesn't want to go with me and yet she spends days leading up to it making me feel like I'm doing something wrong by going myself.

I'm a prisoner. I thought this only happend to women so I didn't even realize it was happening until it was too late.

The other day she actually got into my face yelling at me to do something while she bumped me with her chest over and over.

I have never and would never raise my hand to a woman and she knows it and take advantage of it.

I don't know how to get out....I know this is a training community but I don't know where else to go....

God that sounds awful. Have you considered just grabbing the essentials, leaving a clear note, and hitting the road?

GTFO man...GTFO

You'll be better off leaving and having nothing than staying and having even less. If you feel like you've been beaten down this much at this point, do you really want to commit the rest of your life to this person? Things can only get better if YOU MAKE THEM BETTER (not yelling, just emphasizing).

As far as her making you feel bad for trying to make yourself better, that is complete BS. What makes you feel better about yourself will make you happier with yourself and happier toward her. Her not 'letting' you take care of yourself is just ridiculous.

What you've expressed here sounds like spending more time in this relationship is only going to lead to more resentment down the road. Cut your losses and move on.

RUN, SEAN, Run! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!
Seriously. Then get some help to find out why you picked this woman so you won't make such a mistake again.
Run.

I know I need to run and I know I can't do this forever...why is it so hard to just pack my crap and go...

The inrospective part of me knows that this is just further symptoms of how far I've let all of this come. The Prisoner Complex.

Feeling so helpless makes me feel even weaker which makes me more depressed which makes taking action harder.

Or I'm just full of excuses.

I dunno......

Stop you cheque from being deposited into her account immediately, RUN and start over again. It is not worth the heart ache and aggravation to stay. You are worth sooo much more...cut your losses!

It is better to start all over with nothing...you are being abused!

Good luck!

Do you have somewhere you can go for a couple of weeks until you're normalized?

Yeah, I can go to my Father's. He's wanted me to get out for a couple of years now.

Guess he saw what was going on before I did.

To make all of this more 'messy' is that we work in the same office and her Father is a VP at the company we work for.

Do you have family close by? Or friends that you can turn to? Are they aware of your situation? You need to talk about this to real people (we can give advice but realistically we can't hold you hand) and have someone that you can turn to for help even if it is a shelter.

All my friends have stopped talking to me because of her. She wouldn't 'let' me go anywhere or speak to them.

The fights are just too TIRING.

My family lives about 45 minutes away.

Do you have family close by? Or friends that you can turn to? Are they aware of your situation? You need to talk about this to real people (we can give advice but realistically we can't hold you hand) and have someone that you can turn to for help even if it is a shelter.

Good point. I would take any advice you get from here, especially from me, with a grain of salt.

Yeah. They all say about the same things.

Sean you really need to get out of this relationship! She is ruining your life!
Get out and build over and "save" your life!

Talk to your father, get advice.

Being strong means knowing this is wrong and wanting to leave.

Being weak would be accepting the situation and never doing anything about it.

It's domestic abuse. You could technically call the police.

The first thing to do when you find you are digging a hole is to stop digging.
Damn dude my heart goes out to you for putting yourself in this situation. Please stop blaming her and take some personal responisabily for your actions. You are giving her permission to treat you like this. Get out of this relationship asap. If you don't I can see it ending baddly for you.

Also, a jobs a job. If you are tied to it so much you can't leave it for another, it is servitude dude.

I think the chick in the Minority Report said it best

"RRRRRUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!"

Best of luck.