You're doing really good on your diet, you exercise you eat the right stuff. And your doing really great. And all it takes is that ONE time. It could be a birthday, a wedding, any event with snacks and sweets. You look over, eyeing the cake Or maybe you get thirsty, and that sugary bowl of punch looks pretty tasty. So you tell yourself "I'll only have a little". You reach out to grab the plate with the cake, your heart starts beating fast, your mouth waters. And you eat it. Now you've ruined your diet.

You look back over, nobody seems to be eating the cake. You hate to see it go to waste, and heck, you've already ruined your diet. So you have another piece. This is the beginning of a very depressing cycle.

This happens to me every now and then. I'm just now ready to start dieting again and I really fear this happening again.

I know there is a very simple answer for this, "Just don't eat it" and that's very easy to say. But different days, at different times, you are in a different state of mind. And what seems logical at one point, doesn't seem that way at another.

My question is this. Does anybody else have this problem, and if so, could you give me, and others, tips on how to beat it?

ALWAYS! My husband has a whole mouth of sweet teeth and I enjoy the occassional chocolate pleasure now and then. If you're really tracking your calories IN and your calories OUT, you can allow yourself a guilty pleasure every day. You just have to make it work. Know what you're going to eat each day and plan it out if you can. If you know you're having cake at a party, then you have to either reduce the other food you take in that day or you have to work out more to compensate for the extra calories you know you're going to consume! If you allow yourself to enjoy a little guilty pleasure each day, you won't get cravings. Moderation, not avoidance!

What I have discovered is that we always reason ourselves into making things okay.

"A little cheating here and there won't hurt, right?"

Wrong. If it is not part of your plan, don't do it. If you plan for 1 time every month you are allowed to eat something that isn't in the diet - fine. But don't cheat. As soon as we, as humans, begin making exceptions to the rule we ultimately validate that exception. If you do not make rules for that exception, it will become the rule rather than the exception.

I don't know it all, but I do know that people like me seem to work off of a consistent rule base. If you are not as dependent on the consistent structure, then good for you! I know that I can't allow exceptions otherwise I will fail. I know that, and Dustin, you probably do too.

So allow it in your diet to have a non-standard meal, but don't cheat. If you know you are allowed to do things that aren't 100% good for you but you are purposeful about it, then you probably wont fall off the wagon as easily.

And heck, even if you mistakenly escape your plan, don't reason with yourself. Just say "I messed up, and if I want to reach my goal I can't continue with it." It is better to have hiccups than to stop breathing completely.

Above all, don't consider healthy dieting as a punishment. Dieting is about health, not about depeltion. You will gain more energy, breathe better, sleep better, and are less likely to have heart attacks when you diet and exercise consistently. So when you eat the cake, know that it is not going to cause you a heart attack, but if you completely give up because of one setback, you put yourself in more risk.

P.S. This is coming from someone who has had problems dieting. A week ago, at the age of 24, I have discovered that I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol so health issues are at the forefront of my decision to be smarter about food.

i experience what you're talking about, but a while ago something finally clicked with me. i realized that i don't need to experience the taste of the magic elixir, whatever it may be, over and over and over again in one situation. just once is fine. one cookie, a few bites, a small glass. it's going to taste the same every bite.

if you truly desire to develop impulse control, you will! it's also important, in situations where there is not a buffet of junk food to tempt you, to listen to your cravings. i think one of the greatest risk factors for binging is to deny yourself any of whatever you're craving. it's like starving - if you continually feed yourself a little, you won't starve and gorge yourself later.

not only that, but i am fortunate enough to live in a region of the world where i have the privilege of experiencing the taste of these delectable sins virtually whenever i want and so i can, in effect, 'procrastinate' and 'hold off till later'.

Over the past few weeks I have fallen into MANY binges. In fact, one almost ever day for the past 3 weeks. Because of that, I've put on about 10 lbs very, very quickly.

For me, and this is just a recent discovery, I need to realize that how I feel afterwards is COMPLETELY not worth the feeling I get while eating my favorite foods.

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about! You finish eating, completely stuffed, thinking to yourself what a failure you are.

Well, FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. Don't eat it. You will feel and look amazing if you don't.

NOT eating that food is hard. Especially when everyone around you is.

I am deployed to Southwest Asia, and at the chow hall, all the food is free.

Soda, Ice Cream, Cake, Cookies, etc.

I went the first month out here without drinking any soda (even though I switched to diet) and it was hard. I worked out regularly and lost a good amount of midsection fat. I have since allowed myself a bowl of ice cream on occasion, and really it is a reward for running or biking X amount of miles.

Every day, though, I need to deal with all of the people I work with going with me, drinking Mountain Dew (mmmm), eating cookies and cake, then washing it down with Cookies and Cream Ice Cream. Whats worse than my own stomach telling me how much it wants that food is the peer pressure.

After a week of eating well, working out, a reward is in order. Just don't make a habit of pre-rewarding yourself, in fact, don't buy some food in preparation for your accomplishment, because before you know it, you are going to want that food before you accomplish whatever it is you are trying to do.

I think the trick is that you can't make a habit of it. Part of life is enjoying things such as cake, soda, and other sweets. You don't want to live the rest of your life deprived of them because, well, you enjoy them! But you also want to live your life happy. I know many people who will start a diet, break the diet one day, and then give up!! If you break the diet you just have to make sure that the next day you get right back on it.

Best advice I can give is dont let one or two bad days derail you. If you binge one night, oh well, it happens, try not to do it again, but you can't get stressed about it or try and starve yourself for days afterwards or you'll just swing into another binge (Or worse give up on your diet all together)

Also, what helps me not stress is I'll make an extra effort to exercise that night or the next day. Add 20 minutes to your jog, that extra couple hundred calories going out eases my anxiety about a binge and helps keep a binge/starve diet from developing.

The really tough thing about trying to lead a healthy lifestyle is that the amount of effort required to gain weight (downing a piece of cake in a minute) is not proportional to the amount of effort required to lose that same amount (you'll probably need to spend a half an hour or more exercising to work off the calories in that cake.)

I agree with what other people have said when they say that it is far easier to maintain a regular habit of eating healthy than to occasionally binge and pick up the pieces afterwards. But if you do "fall off the wagon" it's important to pick yourself back up as soon as possible and continue on your way.

I read a little quote a while back (can't recall where) that I trot out these days to remind myself how to behave when faced with a binging opportunity:

"Losing weight is difficult and intentional; gaining weight is easy and unintentional."

It's a nice twist on saying "no pain, no gain."

Maybe its time to take a look at the type/types of dieting that you are trying to stick to.

A diet should not be total deprivation. The word diet refers to your style of eating. And your style of eating needs to be balanced, to include a variety of nutrients.

Maybe you aren't eating enough when you "diet"? Or maybe you aren't eating frequently enough? That could cause you to get hungry & crave all kinds of things!

After being on a HEALTHY EATING PLAN for a while (may be difficult at 1st) your body is actually healthier...and it starts to realize that its receiving a steady flow of nutrients...and you truly aren't so hungry anymore. It is not just psychological! It is very physical also.

Maybe instead of dieting...you could start to think about feeding your body right.

I think we've all been there before!

I personally have a HUGE sweet tooth (like many of us), and so it's very hard for me to just ignore the cookies/cakes/candy that seems to be ubiquitous at every event.

I think it's different for each person, but I personally don't believe in depriving yourself of what you really want. From experience I can say that it's usually a bad idea to eat your way around a craving. For example: you really really really just want a peice of cake, but you tell yourself no, and have an apple instead. And then some yogurt. And then something else, and something else, trying to satisfy your craving in the "healthy" way, and before you realize it you've consumed more calories than if you had just eaten the darn cake, and you're not satisfied to boot!

The key (for me, at least) is to differentiate between what I'm actually craving and what I just want because I'm bored/angry/depressed/whatever. I usually try to refrain from eating whatever it is that I MUST have for as long as I can (I tell myself "I'll have that cake in a bit, I'm going to finish this glass of water first, or fold laundry, or anything"). And then if I still really want it, I have it. But like someone else mentioned, half the battle is allowing yourself just a small indulgence, and that's eat. Stopping is hard, but try to distract yourself with something else and it you won't even miss that second or third cookie.

Keep your spirits high!

This is a problem I think we've all had. From my experience, it is a bad idea to completely deny yourself, because you will eventually crack. Instead, keep it all in moderation. You don't need to eat a gigantic piece of cake, or a big bowl of ice cream. Just a few bites will give you the sweet taste that you so desire, without killing your diet.

There are also many alternative "sweets" that are not that bad for your. Plain yogurt with fresh berries is one of my favorite treats, and it's actually quite healthy.

I also agree with what some others have said here: it is better to not think of it as a diet, but being healthy. A diet is short term, living healthy is a life-long commitment.

Lots of good insights from the community here. One thing I might add is that when I overeat in social situations, it stems from one of two places:

1. I feel guilty that I am not eating and everyone else is. Socially, this lack of participation makes me feel set apart - like I'm not a willing participant in the "fun", OR

2. I feel guilty that the food is going to waste, that the host has put so much time into it, etc. Eating is appreciation.

In both of these cases, I'm trying to train myself that it's okay to put myself first. I don't have to eat to make others feel more comfortable. I don't have to eat to make the host feel validated. At the end of the day, my family and friends are more concerned with my happiness than with perceived entertainment value of their food.

Something that helps me stay on the wagon, anyway.

i love this quote: "nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

Don't be too absolutist because psychologically that leads to the justification of 'oh well I've already ruined the diet anyway, may as well go for broke'.

It's nice if you can never cheat on your diet but cheating a little bit is better than cheating a lot. It might be better to eat no cake at all but eating two slices is still twice as bad as eating one slice.

Try to stop yourself from having that cake. Visualise yourself saying no thank you when it's offered to you and position yourself away from the food.

If that doesn't work and you've succumbed to a slice, tell yourself 'I've had my treat now and I'm not going to overdo it because I have to work this off tomorrow'.

Remember, your diet is not just to lose weight, it's also training for weight maintenance so you never have to do this again. Once you've lost weight you need to learn how to regulate it, allowing yourself cake - but just ONE slice - from time to time. This is good practice for post-diet maintenance so you don't become a yo-yo dieter.