Hi! I'm Mikaela. I'm 13 years old and I'm 5'5"ish and 140ish pounds (not exact measurements). I want to weight 120 or so by the time I go away in November, but I'm not going to be upset if I'm still chubby then, because my real goal is to keep the weight off, not just lose it for a vacation and gain it back again.

What I need help with is some of my friends. One in particular...she eats like there's no tomorrow and never exercises-and when I'm around her I tend to do the same. How can I avoid doing that?

Discipline?

real friends will let you know when you make a mistake. if this friend of yours is overweight, then why tell her? you guys could work together to start eating more healthy.

if she doesn't want to work with you, don't worry about it. just because your friend does one thing doesn't mean it should be difficult for you to do another.

also, it never hurts to play sports. you'll make some new friends and may find that you're really great at something.

Welcome Mikaela,

The first thing you need to ingrain in your head and believe in 100% is that the only person you have control over is yourself. So, you need to learn and do whatever it takes to reach your own goals. And, like Joel said, make some new friends who are active and working toward some of the new goals that you are. That doesn't mean you have to ditch your current friend, but instead of relying on your friend to change her ways to help you, you might just end up being an inspiration to to her to follow in your footsteps instead.

Good luck!

Hi Mikaela!
Joel and Jennie both have great advice. I would only add one thing. Try to focus on getting physically fit and eating healthy foods rather than on what the scale says. You are certainly old enough to be taking responsibility for your health, but you are most likely still growing and a growth spurt could totally change the way 140lbs looks on you. Good luck with your goals and with your friend!

Welcome, Mikaela!

Can you do things with your friend that don't put you in food situations? Eventually, it will be good to get a handle on your own ability to withstand this kind of influence, but when you're starting out, see if you can get together where there aren't endless amounts of food. Maybe you can work on changing your ways and then inviting her along. She may miss you so much that she will go for that walk with you.

If you can't limit your contact in this way, eat something healthy before you see her, so you already feel full and aren't as easily influenced. Learn ways to turn down food that don't feel confrontational like, "I just ate," or "I'll have some later."

Sometimes, you have to point out to your friends that they are not supporting your goals, and that you really need their help. See if you can recruit her as a motivator of your new goals without trying to change her.

Mikaela,

I know I am much older, but I fully understand what you are going through. I have a friend that does the same thing. He doesn't seem to want to do anything about it even when I bring it up. I do some of the things mentioned above and they help, but sometimes I still fail. When I do, I don't consider it the end of the world and I work harder to not lose any ground.

The advice you are getting above it great! I have come to trust and look forward to the posts from the ones responding to you.

One other thing I do which is kinda mentioned above is to suggest healthier options. He loves to go to Pizza Buffets and Wing Buffets and places with super large burgers, etc. I tell him that I can't do lunch unless we go someplace where there are some healthier options. I tell him that my calories for the day will just not allow me to go to those places. He understands and will usually compromise since he wants to get together. I do sometimes still go to those places with him, I just make sure I control myself..... sometimes easier said than done!

Overdoing it once in a while will not do much to hurt you, if you keep yourself in line the rest of the time..... Over time those once in a while times will get better and you won't be overdoing it as much.... trust me, stay on track and don't let the occational occurance get you down.... just keep them occasional, with more and more distance between them.

Keep it up - you will do great!!

1. track what you eat (use a site like calorie-counter.com) be honest
2. begin to exercise 1 day the first week
2 days the second week
3 days the third week
4 days the forth week
5 days the fifth week
5 days a week is enough, rest on the weekends. You could start with walking. If you google couch to 5k there are some good plans.
3. Try to eliminate (for the most part) high calorie foods such as fast food, desert food, sodas anything that really adds to your calorie count.
4. A one pound per week lose is an excellent goal. Forget about 10 pounds in two weeks that's just marketing to sell useless products. If you slowly establish the habit of exercising 5 times a week and keeping your calorie intake to a reasonable amount you will become a thiner happier person. It may take you a little while to get it all together I am 37 an I'm still trying to figure it out, but thats what you need to do.

As for your friend, you need to be a leader and set an example for her not just follow along with bad habits. You are getting older, soon your friends will be drinking and doing drugs and all sorts of stupid stuff don't follow them. You don't have to do stupid stuff because everyone else does.

If you have questions about the specifics of a diet and exercise program just post them and we will be glad to help you.

good luck