Let me introduce myself and tell you how I managed to gain almost 29 lbs in two years!
If you follow my regime I can guarantee you will gain at least 10 kgs!


1. Change your workingsituation. Leave your great outdoors job for something indoors. Preferably in an office or at least at a desk. I left the army two years ago to be a student = less physical activity and more brain activity!

2. Stop being single. Go into a new relationship or even better move in together. Start going out to nice restaurants. Always have dessert! Stop going out on fridays and saturdays with friends and stay home wih your love instead. Have a nice homemade dinner (and make sure to put lots of oil, cream or butter in the food) and round it up in the sofa, watching a film while eating dessert, nice belgian chocolate (or after a while any chocolate, crisps whatever) and drink wine (after a while any kind of alcohol and fizzy drinks). I met the love of my life ~2 years ago....

3. Be poor. My life as a student hasn't always been a fairytale. Make sure you have to buy inexpensive fatty food. Vegetables are expensive, chips, sweets and processed food is much cheaper. Go home to mummy every sunday for dinner and make sure to stuff yourself with comfort food. Mummy will always make sure you eat enough so why not let her feed you? Always have dessert. Make sure you get some food to go when you leave!

4. Stop enjoying working out. Don't indulge in activities you really like. Everyone else says spining (insert an activity you don't like doing here) is great for weightloss, sign up for a class and you will start hating working out after only 15 minutes. After only a few weeks of inactivity it will be much harder to drag your sorry ass to the gym. You won't belive how much only a few kilos will diminish your inspiration to work out.

5. Watch TV, browse the web etc etc. Get yourselfe addicted to tv-series like gilmore girls, grays anatomy, 24, anyhing just make sure you get hooked. This will effectfully keep you from talking a nice walk in the evening or going to the gym.

6. Stop liking yourself! This is the most crucial step. The previous five steps are only tools for weight gain. The most important change have to take place within yourself! Stop liking yourself! Make sure you feel unworthy of feeling great. No one needs selfrespect. You don't deserv to look good or feel good about yourself. This is also the hardest change and it will take a couple of weeks but once you have started it will get more easy. Make sure to feel bad everyday, regularity is your friend!



This is a proven way to gain weight, I'm a living example!

ya know, when you bludgeon people over the head with sarcasm, it loses it's humor.




wha?

Adam

my intention is not to be funny. I don't find my life very funny at the moment. I have lost all self respect and I look upon myself with disgust. I have been trying to change how I view myself and to find out what made me put on all this weight.

Identifying 6 reasons to why I have gained weight and hence made myself feel like this is a part of my recovery. I admit to being sarcastic but my intention is not to be funny...yet! Hopefully I can look back at this in a couple of months and see the funny part in it.







ever been to sweden?

Well then good luck with your continuance of self-loathing and lack of confidence, I am sure these attributes will help you on your journey. I commend you on motivating yourself to improve your health, I am just wary of your reasons. People who have dysmorphic and unhealthy views of their body, whether slim or not, are not really safe motivators for exercise.

You sound like someone who really wants to change their lifestyle, it just seems as though your post was full of anger and frustration.

I had no idea veggies were expensive in Sweden, much like I had no idea you were located in Sweden.

Nice welcome entrance to the site. Good luck on your journey!

Is your motive of posting in this hread to mock or do you acctually have something to say?


English is not my native language, maybe I missunderstood you? or you missunderstood me?


My view of my body is quite realistic (or as close as it can be). The problem is my lack of confidence which grew as I put on more weight. I have never strived to be a thin or skinny woman. My goals has always been, and sill are to be healthy. I don't have an eating disorder and I know my limits.

I have explained some of the reasons to why I have been standing by while my body has degenerate for the last two years. I think realising why I'm unfit is is a key to get back into shape. Hopefully I can use this to change my behaviour and get back into my former physical condition.

Relax. I think it's a misunderstanding. I guess I was put off by your message, it just seemed like you were very angry and hated your body, something we should try and avoid regardless of what end of the fit spectrum we're in. If that is an incorrect assessment based on what you've said, then I suppose I misunderstood you.

*sigh* ok relaxed now ;)


I'm off to cook dinner which will be a healty portion of salmon and rosted vegetables


Take care