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traineo Community / Off-Topic & General Chat / Lost my golden retriever to cancer........can't seem to get over the loss of her
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Deb Freeman
traineo Newbie
Posts: 6
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 # Posted: 14 Jul 2008 19:42


I had to have my 11 year old golden retriever, Libby, put down due to an aggressive cancer. I can't seem to get over the loss of her but I don't think now would be good time to get another puppy. I still have my 12 year old golden, Sadie, at home, but she seems a bit lost without Libby too! Any suggestions?
jo b
traineo Fanatic
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 # Posted: 14 Jul 2008 19:45


I'm sorry for your loss.
Rob M.
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 # Posted: 14 Jul 2008 19:48


I'm really sorry for your loss. I was just thinking about losing pets the other day, because my cockerspaniel puppy just turned one and I was thinking about how losing her would be almost as bad as losing a best friend. I can't even imagine how it feels. Good luck.
Angie H
Fitness Guru
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 # Posted: 14 Jul 2008 21:42 - Edited by: fauxvirgo


No dog is going to completely take the place of Libby. However, if Sadie is lost, perhaps some visits to dog parks can help alleviate her lonesomeness. Perhaps a rescue organization has an older well-behaved dog for adoption that could give Sadie some company, provided they get along well (most have trial periods to determine that.)

Other than that, unfortunately there's not a whole lot that can reduce your mourning period. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I would be beside myself if I lost my Jill-Jill to cancer. What would I do without those big ears?!


Mikaela K
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 # Posted: 14 Jul 2008 23:08


Omg I am so sorry! I've really only lost fish, gerbils, and rats, all of which I sad about (well, the only fish I missed was Comet, who lived like 2+ years in my tank, despite everything else dying), but I know if I lost my cat, Amber (she's 7, ugh, senior kitty), I'd be inconsolable. I mean, I was only 7 when we got her, so she's been through everything with me, like my parent's divorce (she moved with me), and my move back to my hometown.

I wish you the best of luck dealing with your loss. As Angie said, maybe adopting an older dog would help you and Sadie (I know an older golden named Sadie...I think she's 12, actually...haha I find that mildly funny...sorry I'm easily amused). Other than that, just remember that Libby was suffering and is probably much happier now.

BTW Angie your dog is adorable!
Lynn M.
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 # Posted: 15 Jul 2008 01:58


I'm so sorry. My dogs are really my babies. I love them both, and I know I'll be devastated when the time comes to let them go. I think Angie's idea is great, and I'll bet it would make you feel better to know that you're adopting a dog that otherwise wouldn't find a home.
Deb Freeman
traineo Newbie
Posts: 6
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 # Posted: 15 Jul 2008 21:17


I just wanted to thank all of you for your thoughtfulness. Sadie and I had a better night last night. I didn't cry at all. I bought a frame to put three of my favorite pics of Libby and that really helped. Sadie and I are "re-bonding" you might say. My husband and I will definitely get our next golden from either the local humane society or a rescue organization when we're ready. Oh, and Angie, I think those are the biggest ears I've ever seen on such a little dog! Too doggone cute!

Thanks All!
Angie H
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 # Posted: 15 Jul 2008 21:27 - Edited by: fauxvirgo


Also, just a side point. I don't know if Sadie is naturally a dominant or submissive dog, but when/if you get your next dog, assuring that Sadie is the dominant one will make Sadie feel like a champ and the entire transition go smoother with less squabbles. Nothing sucks worse for a dog than to have an outsider come in and start ruling the roost. It's really not fair for Sadie to have a strange dog taking seniority. So, if/when you do get a new dog, make sure you give Sadie her treat FIRST, that SHE gets petted first, SHE gets to go out the door first. This will help establish the chain of command for the new dog coming into your life.

If Sadie's extremely submissive though, this probably won't work as the other dog will constantly challenge her and make her miserable, at least initially.

Thanks for the compliment on Jill! She's a miniature pinscher, and most min pins get their ears cropped. Hers stood up naturally in all their HUGE glory, LOL. My younger minpin has floppy ears, and they're cute too!


Socorro Elias
traineo Newbie
Posts: 3
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 # Posted: 15 Jul 2008 22:56


[i]I am so sorry for your loss.
I am an animal (cats) lover myself. I think it will help to remember the good life you gave Libby. You are wise in not brining another pet into the home just yet. For now, it might also help to spend extra quality time with Sadie. My hat goes off to you for pursuing to adopt an animal in need of a home. My best to you and yours!
Deb Freeman
traineo Newbie
Posts: 6
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 # Posted: 16 Jul 2008 01:37


Thanks Angie, I never really thought about that. Libby and Sadie have always been together and to be honest, I'm not quite sure which one was the dominant one. They actually took turns when they ate from their food bowl. They were both pretty submissive. I would hate for Sadie to feel displaced due to some young pup! I actually took Sadie for a walk to and from the mailbox at the end of the neighborhood. She did pretty good.

Socorro, thank you for your response. Sadie is getting lots of extra attention right now.
Angie H
Fitness Guru
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 # Posted: 16 Jul 2008 13:31


Deb, generally a male and female (vs two males or two females) will get along better. In the wild, wolves have a pack with a dominant male and dominant female. So having one of both sexes, there are fewer squabbles since they can both be dominant.

When Libby and Sadie played, which one was usually the aggressor? Which one would push their way to you for petting first?

If you get a pup and have a chance to pick from a litter, pick one that isn't the first to come up to you. The dominant puppies will come to you first and the submissive ones will be a little more shy. A lot of people will automatically pick the dominant puppy because it's the more social one, but then don't understand why they become such bullies as adults! Now you know!
Andrew Wisniowski
traineo Newbie
Posts: 1
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 # Posted: 16 Jul 2008 14:05


I had the same thing happen, I never knew golden's were so prone to lymphosarcoma . My golden was about 7-8 years old. She was the best pet I ever had. She actually helped me get fit, I used to run 2.5 miles in the mornings with her. Good times...

Good luck!
Phil Mcly
traineo Fanatic
Posts: 158
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 # Posted: 17 Jul 2008 01:42


Deb, we love our dogs sometimes in ways that defy all explanation. As an owner of a devoted pooch I can only say in some way that we other dog owners out here can all share your loss a little and hopefully make it just a little easier to bear.

I can't imagine life without my critter, so much so that he always comes on vacation with us, no matter what.

I'm sure you'll know when it is time for you to bring a new dog-friend into your life. Until then, hang in there.
vfkaas Doe
traineo Newbie
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 # Posted: 17 Jul 2008 15:21


Angie, I'm so sorry about your loss. No doubt it will take time to come to terms with the fact that Libby is gone. I know when I've lost some of my own beloved pets over the years that I've been bereft but with time it does become easier. Perhaps in time you will want to adopt another loving dog. In the meantime, if you can arrange any playdates for Sadie that would give both of you something to look forward to. Take care.
Suzi B.
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 # Posted: 18 Jul 2008 01:38


I'm sorry about you losing your sweet pup.

When I had to have my 14 year old kitty put to sleep, I didn't think I could get through it, either. For some reason, losing her was worse than losing any other animal had been. Somehow though, whenever I thought of her, it was with happy thoughts of what she meant to me, rather than sadness at losing her. The aching sadness was there, but when I thought about the special happiness she brought to my life, it made me smile (and sometimes cry) and I got through that time much better than I thought I would. Whenever you think of Libby, think of things she did that made you laugh, made you smile and feel happy, and maybe that will help. I hope so. The sadness will be there on it's own, so don't add to it with thoughts of missing her instead of being so glad you had were able to have her in your life.

It's so hard on pets when they're missing someone, and I never know what to do. My boyfriend passed away in October 2006, and his poor little dog was just lost. Even though I have a dog and 2 cats, he still missed his best friend. He has gradually gotten better, and I think it's due to special consideration on my part (trying to make him feel as special as Gary did) and the fact that he had other animals around.

I wish the very best for you. Just bring yourself up out of the sadness and dwell, happily, on the precious little life that you were lucky enough to have with you.
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