I have a dilemma. One of my friends is going to go away on Friday and I think I am depressed. I can't see life without her, she was one of my best friends. Recently being with her showed me how much of my life I've wasted doing nothing. I haven't ever gone through a dilemma of this proportion, and I don't know what to do. We will probably talk on Myspace but not everyday, and it's so much different than in person. Can someone give me first-hand advice to help me with this; I know it'll come to pass, but every second I think of her and it's only when I think of the times we've had together than I feel like crying.

From a quick look at your profile suggests your 16/17 years old, your whole life is infront of, loads of new people to meet, opportunities galore. To be frank you have to move on, the past is the past, you had a great friendship with her while she was nearby but now she is going away, you suggest you will still be in contact so good but you wont' get the level of relationship that you have had previously.

I think you maybe over stating the depression, I can understand you are upset, sad and possibly angry that she is going but doesnt sound alot like real depression more like a short term low mood. As I said you have to move on, you mentioned other friends focus on them some more. Most importantly dont hide yourself way, I did that for most of my teens to try and escape what was happening to me and so I didn't confront it. Do things with the people you still have and think about the possibilities and what you will be doing in the future not what you could have been doing if she was still her.

Just my thoughts. Comments welcome.

Tell her how you feel. You'll feel better as time moves on.

Matt, I'm so sorry to hear that you are losing a close friend. I know that can be really rough. My best friend from college moved off and we very rarely see each other any more (we're like 700 miles apart), but we still send emails. It's not the same, and sometimes I still really miss her (this has been 2 years ago), but it's not like I'm in terrible pain or anything. You may always miss your friend, but after a while, the pain will fade and you will be left with fond memories of your days together and the hope that one day you will be able to be together again.

Matt, i only have two friends who i have been friends with a long time and neither one of them live where i am so i have some idea what your feeling. It's going to hurt and your going to feel lonely i admit that but you can keep in contact through a variety of ways especially in this day and age. i do so with one of my friends through mostly internet, the other i talk on the phone with only about once a month but we make that phone call count.

If your only in your teens then john is right you have plenty of time to do things. i am almost 34 and i have wasted most of my life literally.
I have nothing to show for it and probably never will.
You are young enough to change the things you don't like and have a full and pleasant life.

You do sound like right now your in a low mood state due to the situation but maybe not a depression just yet. i have been there...uh..actually i am obviously still there. all i can say is keep an eye on yourself, if you find your pulling away and into yourself drastically both emotionally and socially then get help because that could be a sign. actually considering this is affecting you so much maybe you should try to talk to a counsler about it. it doesn't have to be a lifetime thing just a couple of talks to help you deal with the pain of losing your friend and the fact that distance will be seperating you.

I hope things end up being o.k. Take Care.

I find that the best way to cope with a friend leaving is to find ways to busy yourself, so that you aren't left sitting alone in a room with nowhere to be, nothing to do, and nobody you feel like talking to. Maybe try picking up a hobby, or make yourself work at something you once started but never managed to finish. Joining a group or class (like a yoga class, swimming class, or martial art) is also a good way to force yourself to do something active outside of the house that is both good for your body and mind.

"Recently being with her showed me how much of my life I've wasted doing nothing."

Sometimes we just have to force ourselves to do things, just like homework and studying. You'll be happier with yourself once you've accomplished something, whether that is writing a story, drawing a picture, or getting a colored belt, you choose! Then you can even share your accomplishments with your friend the next time you talk, and feel all the better because of it. Just wasting time with your own thoughts won't get anything done.
Good luck!

Just email each other.
One thing about life is that change is inevitable. It isn't that you can't have a relationship with this person anymore. The relationship just has to change.

My girlfriend's dad died recently, and she has been hearing from a couple dozen people that he was close friends with and stayed friendly with through mail/email for more than 40 years. People from all over the United States and even outside of the country.

Is it sad? yes
Is it the end of a friendship? No

Thank you guys for your input. I think I can cope better now. I guess it's not really depression, but it hit me hard because I've never had an event of this magnitude occur. Thank you Patrick, I've never looked at it that way. I am talking to the same person, just differently. I really appreciate the support you guys have given me, I was out of focus and felt alone for days, I feel better now and will try to continue my diet/workout plans.

Glad you are feeling better, Matt.

Hey Matt... Glad to hear you're feeling better about this... Just because a person isn't in your space, doesn't mean you can't have a great relationship... but it can be hard ... and I understand how sad you can get especially at that first departure.

I'm 37... and have had my best friend since we were in the 7th grade... and have known each other even longer... Our birthdays are 2 days apart... so we even through parties together... The worst was when she went away to France for our Sr. year in highschool... we went to the same college for one year... and then she left again... for good. But we're on the phone ALL the time ... e-mail... send pics... we've been there for each other through major ups and downs... marriages (each others maid of honor), miscarragies, births, cancer... the loss of a dear friend to Iraq, we trained seperately with team in training for the same marathon in Honolulu... and met in Hawaii for the race... we always have fun together... even if we're not in the same place.... you and your friend are now going to have even more experiences to share with each other...

Best...

I still can't stop thinking about this, but I've kept myself occupied so it's been fine until bed time. We're talking on Myspace, but it's not the same; messages are slow and she's more fun offline. I think I am doing a good job adjusting though.