ok my story so far............... i will make it as short as possible so not to bore to many people.

i have always been what you would call butch but always very active and for many years worked very hard with horses which kept me to a comfortable but butch weight. After leaving horses to pursue another career, (one that paid a reasonable wage) the weight piled on. In august 2006 i decided one way of focusing on losing weight and getting fitter i took up the challenge of taking part in the london marathon for a charity, which ment i got a definate place. So a total life change out with the take away menus and in with the veg, fish, pasta, fruit all cooked healthy, i admit still portions on large size and i wasn't a total nun about diet but a vast vast improvement.
With a trainer to advice and point me in the right direction i did nine months of training( running, swimming, circuit training, bike) all with the added help of a heart rate monitor. I completed the marathon in 6hrs 10 mins ( not really time i was hoping for, but one that can only be improved on).
Now i thought after all of that i would look like marylin monroe but no i only lost 8lbs, then with the extreme anti climax, a long term relationship ending and a spell of depression i went back to old ways and piled on the 8lbs and 2 more stone to join it. I felt completely cheated after all my good work and intentions.
So now 6 weeks in to another life change trying to have a good diet and exercise and drinking and passing enough water to sink the uk i am struggling mentally, yes i feel better and can see improvements in fitness, but not much else going on.
Now i know the old muscle will weigh more than fat and give it time and at least you feel better but my brain says it would rather see some change to my weight!!!!

So the question is how do i stay mentally strong ?????

I don't think being mentally strong will help. Having a strong will, determination and feeling the effects of a healthy lifestyle should be more than enough to keep you motivated. Also, you should find a good reason to get and keep the weight off, not just because you want to look like Marylin Monroe, but maybe to avoid diabetes, set a good example for your children (if you have any?) ect.

It seems like you have always been very muscular. Am I wrong? If so, you simply can't expect your body to look like some model's in a magazine.

When you lost your 8 lbs last, did your clothes fit better? In other words, did you lose fat and maybe gain muscle? You might be the type that easily packs on muscle.

Another thing to think about is the number of calories you consumed back then. Honestly, compared to your weight and activity level, how much of a deprivation was there? Could you have eaten less? No matter how you slice it, you HAVE to eat less than what your body needs to lose fat. It sucks, but that's how it is. Losing fat is a slow process. Most people find it difficult to lose just 1 lb of fat per week. Just remember it takes time to become overweight, and it's going to take time to lose it. Luckily, you could lose it quicker than you gained it in most cases if you're strict.

It is very possible, as you've demonstrated, to be a bit overweight yet still be very physically fit. You ran a marathon, for heaven's sake! That's GREAT!

To stay on track, definitely take tape measurements and keep a chart. Your weight will fluctuate, but the tape won't lie. You'll know immediately if your efforts are paying off. You'll see changes in the tape measurements likely before you notice any real difference in how your clothes fit. Measure once a week; at most twice a week. If your measurements are going down you ARE losing fat, which is what you want. If your weight hasn't changed, no biggee. That means you have gained muscle, bone density, or are perhaps holding a bit of water. NONE of those things are negative! If you're bold enough (I'm not yet), take pictures of yourself and keep a photo journal. Small changes day to day aren't noticeable, but 1 month's worth of fat loss is undeniable.

Not to sound like a broken record (I've mentioned this more times than I can count on this forum), but really pay attention to the types of foods you are eating. Research the glycemic index of carbs. The higher the GI, the higher your insulin spike after a meal, which means 1) the sooner you become hungry again, 2) the more fat your body will store (and hence the harder it is to lose fat, and 3) generally speaking, the less food volume you'll actually eat for a given number of calories. Keeping your carbs in the low GI range will keep you fuller longer - you'll be stuffed to eat enough to get your calories in PLUS it'll last longer and you'll be less likely to snack between meals due to hunger. Fats are not your enemies! And make sure your protein intake is sufficient for your LBM. NEVER, EVER leave carbs, protein, or fat out of your diet. You need all three in moderation.