Yesterday I was really hard on a lady in the posts as I felt that she was using the forum to pedal her own business goals. I was concerned that she had little interest in actively contributing to the goals of the community, and was simply hijacking a forum that she felt was a target market of her field. All with the aim of increasing web traffic to her site so she could close more business.

Did I judge too soon?

I received a comment that said I behaved like a jerk after I made a very flippant comment on the post. Maybe she is right? Did I behave like a jerk?

As I have not hidden, I do have business plans and goals in the field of health and fitness. I do coach people, and I am developing bootcamps with the mind-body connection and peak physical performance in mind. However, I like to think that I don't view this forum as a source of lead generation and marketing so that I can increase business. I genuinely get a lot of value from reading through the posts and have managed to get in contact with some very inspirational people who have all had an effect on me.

I am outspoken by nature and have an opinion on most things. I have contributed to posts when I felt I could add value and hope that I have been able to give back to the site as much as I have taken.

However, being called a jerk got me really thinking about what I did.

Am I a hypocrite? Did I speak to soon? Is the person in question actually a genuine person who wants to make a contribution and I judged her unfairly? Did I just judge too quickly?

Right now I'm really not sure, so I'm asking for some feedback. I don't mind honesty, so lay out the truth.

Thanks guys

Was the post here on Traineo? I would like to put it in context before giving an opinion.... especially since I am not very opinionated.

I saw the thread, Dean, and honestly, while your delivery surprised me a little, I can understand the feeling.

A new member with less than 5 posts, all of which mention their site and with a link included, to me, smacks more of trolling and less of simply enjoying the community.

.02, FWIW.

Tim - The post was titled 'Workout Sequence' and was added by a lady called Sheryl

Minu - I guess my rant was a little out of character, but at the time I felt strongly about it. In hindsight it may not have been the right approach which is why I am asking the community on the verdict of whether or not I was out of line. I don't mind being involved in controversy, I kind of like it. However, I want to make sure I am behaving within the confines of such a great network. Behaving badly is not a standard I want to be associated with, but I fear I may have done the wrong thing.

We can't all be 100%, 100% of the time.

So that post fell into the proverbial 20%; your showing that you care enough to question it shows me at least, what you're made of, (even though I already thought you had some pretty respectable composition).

Thanks Minu, I feel a little bit better about my rant now. Just a blip in my otherwise flawless character (Huh)

Looked like self promotion to me, if it had been in answer to someones question, a different story maybe.


I don't care either way as it happens.

Interesting view. Does that mean perhaps that Traineo should be open to advertisements and product promotions.

Personally, I have seen a LOT of trolling, lurking, whatever you want to call it on this site. Fad diets, workout DVD's, I even get people who want to be my buddy and in their request, give me links to go see what can help me lose weight. You know what I do and what I recommend we ALL do...

Delete and I G N O R E it no matter how steamed you get about it. THe energy will be diffused and there will be no banter about accusations, etc.

That's only what I have been doing. People like the attention and are probably looking to be called out on a forum just so they can lash back and release their anger inside. These people are in sales and their income depends on roping people in to their scams.

Dean, you did what I've always wanted to do, but never did. That's what makes the world a planet of diversity.

DJ

When I first read the thread, I didn't realize all two of her previous posts mentioned her site, and I was a little surprised by your reaction. I think your later explanation made perfect sense though. We all get a little snarky sometimes.

I feel if a person wants to blatantly promote and advertise products or services, then buy an ad to be shown on the site. This place is provided to users free as a place to connect and learn from one another. It needs the support to keep that happening.

Dean,

I was keeping up with the thread and was a bit thrown by your response as it was unexpected - not unwarranted.

I was a little offset by Sheryl's initial post plugging her website, but remember only a couple days later that you made reference to that site in a different thread so I followed suit and gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Generally, those sort of plugs (and fad diets, etc) really bother me because they are generally from people that aren't solid contributors to this site and are clearly baseless self-promotion. So, what I'm basically saying is that I agree totally with your viewpoint, but was surprised to see your comment

General consensus appears to be that I should have been a bit more tactful in my response and not reacted in the fashion that I did.

I understand sales very well as I've worked in sales on many different levels so maybe that is why I was so quick to point the finger.

There is as much resource on this site, simply by the depth of the individuals involved without needing it to be full of guru's selling their wares. In fact, one of the things I really love about the site is the range of views and opinions that are all from the general public and the wealth of their personal experiences.

I don't have anything personal against the lady I reacted against. I'm sure she is lovely and has great resource within her chosen field. I perhaps did bite unfairly, though it is just because I wanted to keep things the way I wanted them kept. Thats why I started this thread, as I realise now it isn't MY site, and isn't up to me how it is used.

Probably not, I just mean it's not something I read and got worked up about, but I'm just a part timer here, whereas you have every reason to feel more strongly.

I was merely expressing what I thought it was, not my opinion on the right/wrong side of it.

If pushed I would say it's wrong, but I'm over it

Good way to be Jim!

actually it is your site, the site only has value because of the members here, and since it's free no one is being paid to police the forums and keep them on track (i do this for free myself elsewhere so i know whats involved) in which case it really is up to the members to be self policing.

And some people dont notice unless you unleash a little frustration at them.

So I wouldnt worry. If I came on here and promoted my business and someone reacted, how shall we say, 'robustly', then i wouldnt be surprised at all.

Dean,

I got a chance to check it out, and considering the circumstances I don't think you were wrong. Like has been said, maybe a little tactless, but not wrong.

I think if someone is going to push their own business they need to make it very clear that that is what they are doing instead of trying to act like they are just telling you about a great site. Now, I also think that if you sign up for a community to just post something like that, you are doing your business more harm then good and they deserve what they get.

Now, let me be sure to say that I don't think it is OK to do that, but at least give us the courtesy of being a trusted, well respected, and frequent part of the community before you try!

Yes, I know she tells us that in her profile, but not everybody reads the profiles all the time.

Dean, I'm with you. She's clearly just here to promoter her site. There's nothing wrong with promoting your site, IF you want to contribute to the whole community. She hasn't even logged anything, made any contacts, or really done anything besides posting the threads where she promotes her website. I say she had it coming.

POSTED: TRAINEO NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

IF YOU ATTEMPT TO SELL, SPAM OR TROLL ON THIS SITE...

YOU WILL BE RATTED OUT OR IGNORED

There! That should do it.

Excellent. I think Stephanie should be the Traineo Forum Sheriff...and Dean's the mayor.

Hehe very good

By the way, I'm not saying no one does it, just that we aren't paying for it.

I like your thinking CK!

In honour of your enlightening contribution to this community, I'd like to give you the key to the traineo forum. Shalt you never feel more welcome than when surfing this site. Ha ha

I could get used to this

Great post Stephanie!!

Once again Dean, your character shows through. I don't think I have read many posters that are so willing to be vulnerable and get others opinion!! Your quest for improving yourself is very authentic and inspiring!!

Now on to our "new" friend Sheryl. I observed that she has only posted at the initiation of a thread with all of her links. As far as I can tell, she has never taken the time or interest to respond to any of our concerns or questions about our own training/diet issues.

As has been mentioned above... we are starting to get the "trollers" for internet business. Just think , if the "real" world was as self policing as this community, we wouldn't need the criminal justice system!!!

But we'd need a LOT more jails....

LOL!

LOL, Dean, that was my friend Kelly who called you a jerk.
She's a New Yorker and isn't afraid to speak her mind like you. She didn't know the motive for your ill-tempered post, which is why she responded the way she did. For one not knowing the background and casually reading it, you came off as someone who thinks "Duh, everyone knows that already." Which, you have to admit, sounds a little Jerk-ish. Next time you speak your mind just indulge us clueless ones as to why you feel that way and the catty remarks may disappear.

Dean, I will admit I read your post and was taken back. The first week I was here every post that you made was more than 3 paragraphs long and that post was just so... soo short. It scared me!

But in all seriousness I see where you are coming from.

Dean, calling you a jerk is not right! I agree that this site should not be used for promoting one's business. What makes this site valuable is people like you, who are knowledge and inspirational. I learn a lot from you.

But, I do agree with Ara that sometimes your message is long. It takes time to read and digest. Lately, this site has been up/down very often. It could be frustrated after reading your long post and unable to reply.

Ah, yes!

The inspiration I have had over the past couple weeks.... all to have written it all down when BAM! a dead page.

You guys have all missed out on a lot of inspiration from me too

You are all wondering when you have ever seen something worth anything from me, but that is because every time I try to post it the site goes down. Dean must just have a better connection than me.



OK, enough of my sarcastic self..... off to work out shortly - look at my profile if you want more info so I don't clog this thread anymore than I already have.....

Over and out!
Hasta la Vesta!

So for everyone's information it was me that called him a jerk. I really didn't mean to start all of this controversy. I was just casually reading the forums and saw a post that I thought was rather rude. I had no idea she had another post promoting her product or whatever. I still think your comment was a bit out of line. If you were upset about her plugging than you should have just said so instead of being so sardonic.

So for what it's worth, I apologize for calling you a jerk, maybe I was a little too hasty. Like my friend Angie said, I'm quick to speak my mind. To me it looked like you were picking on someone for trying to help. It was really basic stuff that most of us know, but someone else may not have. I guess I felt like I was sticking up for the little guy.

Hopefully this settles things.... truce?

http://www.traineo.com/11_4662_0.html#msg47549 (link to original comments)