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traineo Community / Before & After Gallery / compliment or insult?
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THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 19:14


so i ran into someone today who i havent seen for a couple of years and didnt recognize me. i had to tell them who i was. that never happens to me. so they said to me "i didnt recognize you-you are conservatlively down a buck and a quarter." i said thank you. i appreciate the compliment.
however, afterwards i was thinking about it and realized since i lost to be exact 108 pounds, my g-d, how big was i really and how big did i really look before? was this a compliment when he was saying i was "conservatively" down that much weight? again, i took it as a compliment especially since he didnt even recognize me but i never would have guessed someone would have thought i would have lost THAT much weight! i guess its my insecurity.
Cynthia P
traineo Fanatic
Posts: 180
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 19:24


Take it as a compliment.

Though in my opinion, it may be a little rude for folks to actually estimate to your face just how much you lost! Still, people know how hard it is to lose a lot of weight, so yeah, I feel it was meant as a compliment.

Enjoy the day!
Tim B
traineo Newbie
Posts: 12
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 19:42 - Edited by: timironi


I'd take it as a compliment.

You're looking better than you thought


THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
Post History
 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 19:50


thanks!!

cynthia-yeah i thought it was kind of rude that he was estimating my weight loss. it wasnt like i asked him to do that. people do what they want. anything goes these days.
Derek Schultz
Fitness Guru
Posts: 258
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 20:19


A compliment not delivered very well.
Ryan F
traineo Fanatic
Posts: 97
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 21:05


A poorly delivered compliment is still a compliment


Lilly K
Fitness Guru
Posts: 275
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 21:08


Yes, the delivery could have been MUCH better, but I'd definitely say it was a compliment - it's a testimony to how GOOD you look now


THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 21:55


thank you. i appreciate everyones input on this.
Minu ~
The Master
Posts: 2581
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 21:57 - Edited by: Minu


Anytime a person fails to recognize another who has peeled off considerable weight, it is clearly a compliment. ENJOY IT.


Chris Barning
traineo Newbie
Posts: 9
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 21:59


it's a compliment. dont take it otherwise
THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 22:27


minu- he didnt fail to recognize my weight loss? he just didnt acknowledge it with tact.

thanks chris.
Minu ~
The Master
Posts: 2581
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 22:39


Quoting: jenngetfit
so i ran into someone today who i havent seen for a couple of years and didnt recognize me. i had to tell them who i was.


This is simply what I was referring to, the fact that due to your weight loss, he didn't recognize you; THAT is speaks volumes.

His delivery is another thing entirely as tact is unfortuately on the endangered species list these days...

Still no reason for you not to enjoy the fantastic changes you've made.


Splint Chesthair
Fitness Guru
Posts: 471
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 22:45


See, that guy wasn't smooth, what he should have said is, "Oh my, you're even more beautiful today than the last time I saw you."

Also I think if you save all of Minu's profile photos and stick them together you can get her full photo. a la jigsaw puzzle.


Dave Nicholson
The Master
Posts: 2089
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 23:06


couldn't read the whole thread, but relish in it - it's a testament to how amazing you're doing

WOW!
THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
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 # Posted: 19 Apr 2008 23:34


minu-thanks. i see what you were saying.

splint-yes, he should have said that. as far as minus pics, if you put them all together she would be headless


Stina Ebs
traineo Fanatic
Posts: 193
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 02:05


I don't mind it when people say I lost a lot of weight... its means I succeeded


Dice Six
traineo Regular
Posts: 29
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 04:11


A compliment is something people say to make you feel good. That guy just probably said the truth how he perceived you. It's not a compliment per se but still you should feel good about it because your hard work is visible to others.

But to be honest, I already get annoyed when people say how much weight I lost. What annoys me is how they say it:
a. hinting that they could never do it. And I'm tempted to ask them to pull the string of my little Obama doll: "Yes, we can!"
b. hinting that the only reason I'm getting slim, fit and healthy is vanity. It is one reason.... but not THE reason.
Glovia L
Fitness Guru
Posts: 825
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 06:52


It is a compliment!

Jen, you know it well that you have worked hard to lose that much weight. It is not an easy thing to achieve. You should be proud of it.

When anyone making comments or complement negatively, s/he is just jealous.
THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 09:56


thanks again everyone. it is interesting to get/see other peoples perspectives.
Minu ~
The Master
Posts: 2581
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 10:19


Quoting: splint
Also I think if you save all of Minu's profile photos and stick them together you can get her full photo. a la jigsaw puzzle.


Heheh, just no face, but at least a head in the bunch.


THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 10:22


a colorless head but nonetheless a head


Minu ~
The Master
Posts: 2581
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 10:46


Coming soon, the FEETS!


THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 15:02


lol- nice pedicure!!
suesue t
Fitness Guru
Posts: 669
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 15:18


Hi There,
One of the first "compliments" I got was from a co-worker it went something like this:

"Wow.... you have really lost weight.... like.... what ... a ton?!?!"

I had the same reaction as you, instead of feeling any good from the comment I felt like I really must have been a "two ton tilly"!!

People are clueless. Bottom line we are our best cheerleaders!!
THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
Post History
 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 15:45


yes, sue i agree with that. i like that " we are our best cheerleaders." so true!! sorry you got that "compliment." i understand how you must have felt.
Cindy N
Fitness Guru
Posts: 733
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 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 17:01


I think you are filtering this comment with your self-conscious, used-to-be-fat self. It definitely hurts when you find out what people used to think about you, but they don't think about that when they are saying such things.

Also a lot of people think it's OK to put down your previous fat version of you once you are no longer in that form. Kind of like when people tell you what a jerk your boyfriend was after you break up with him. I think those kinds of comments reveal a lot about a person.
THE NEW ME
The Master
Posts: 2856
Post History
 # Posted: 20 Apr 2008 19:35


cindy-yes, very true. good points.
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