As of this morning my weight loss has hit the -70 mark (-70.6 to be exact, which leaves less than half a pound to hit my goal) and despite the fact that I've done literally nothing on this Sunday and have been in front of my computer quite a bit, I'm just now posting this.

It's been a gorgeous weekend here in Seattle... first really hot weekend of the year (yesterday was in the 80s, today was in the 70s) and, for me, 80+ is PERFECT weather. I had a BBQ yesterday, smoked some ribs and tritips and they came out perfect. Last week was one of the most productive and satisfying weeks I've had at work since I started working on my new team in January. All and all, you'd think this would have been a great day and I would've been stoked to make my obligatory self-congratulations post, yet I'm still being weighed down by the loss that doesn't show up on the scale.

Four months and five days ago I would have thought that I wouldn't still be losing sleep over... someone. I would've thought that something as monumental as this accomplishment and my other recent ones (two 5ks completed with times I can be proud of, all things considered) wouldn't be overcast by her leaving. She was my world for 10 years, so I didn't expect I'd be ready to be dating or sickeningly happy by now, but at least sleeping normally... Hell I'm pretty sure things will still remind me of her years from now; after all, 10 years is a lot of shared time and memories, but man I'd better be at least sleeping normally by then.

My mind knows that this is a good thing and today is a good day. My mind wants to celebrate my accomplishments and my mind is screaming at my heart to be happy, but the heart is a stubborn and illogical muscle and, like an emotional terrorist, cannot be reasoned with. Four months, five days later I still miss her like crazy and I know I should be over her, but that's just not how it is.

Anyways, enough lamenting... I'm supposed to be happy right?

awww Clifford. The aching heart is one of the toughest. I don't think 4 months is enough to get over a 10 year relationship. It's going to take time but eventually you'll heal.

Of course you should be happy. You've come so far and accomplished so much.

I'm proud of you!

cheer up!

congrats on your weight loss and i hope your heart heals soon!!

A BIG day in Chinn-ville, and the weather is chiming in with sun it seems.

Sooner or later, your soul will too, Cliff. It took major patience and work for your to reach this fitness goal and it'll take just as much work, if not a different kind to reach zen at the thought of her.

Enjoy the day and again, WAY/WEIGH to go YOU.

I've heard that you should give yourself one month to recover for each year you've spent in a relationship. I don't know if that's an arbitrary number or based on some kind of research, but most divorce groups use it. Allow yourself to grieve as you need, and don't judge yourself because you think you should be over it. That can actually hinder your healing. You will get past this.

If you're interested, Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends is a great book.

Congrats on your huge success, Clifford!

WOW clifford, thats just an awesome improvment.

Just saw your other tread

URL

Where are the new pictures?

What did you change?
How you made this awesome progress in just 4 monthes?

Grats to your progress and heads up. It's a good thing that you - instead being paralyzed of the pain - used it and trained.

Cliff, congrats on your accomplishments! And do give yourself time to heal. 10 years is a very long time so don't feel bad if you can't rebound in a few months. These things take time. Have a great day and enjoy the weater!

Clif, I thought you were talking about Minu when I saw the title of the thread LOL
I read it "Minu's 70 lb. loss"

congrats on the weight loss ;)

hey congratulations on your weight loss. dont hav any wise words on the relationship thing, never been there, but i know you will you through it! after all, youve come so far on your healthy journey! congrats again

tex

Grats Clf

70lbs is a HUGE feat!

Keep up keeping your body in great shape!

Heheh, while I didn't shed quite that amount--I got close, so it works too.

That silly Net handle of mine does come in anti-handy at times.

HOLY CRAP!! You look great dude. I just saw those pics... That's inspiration man. Total inspiration.

BTW. as for the chica - the mind is a strange and wonderful place. Sometimes you have to trick yourself into feeling better. i.e. If you don't make yourself date new people (not to find a soul mate - just date) you won't grow. You have to get your neurons firing with a new life, people, places - so they stop firing over memories of her. You have to just go through the motions for a bit and lie to yourself so you stop drifting back in time. (BUT I DON'T KNOW YOU OR HER OR THE WHOLE STORY - SO I MAY BE WAY OFF)

I always remind myself when things are difficult that -

"you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now..."

Seriously. Deep - right? Now, if you are exactly where you are supposed to be - what should you be doing? What should you be learning? teaching? changing?

Peace. And again man... you look super. I had a shit day and those pictures of you make me feel mildly inspired.

I remind myself of that every day... life likes to knock us down and when you're down you only have two options: stand up to the challenge or stay down and life doesn't stop just because you want it to. Life keeps happening and if I don't stand up and move with it, then I'll just get left behind.

That's one of the biggest lessons I've been forced to learn from my situation with her; the reason we were apart to begin with is because I let myself get overwhelmed with my problems and stopped doing anything about them. The honest truth is that when THE split finally happened I was a month in to my workout and dietary lifestyle changes and a big part of me wanted to just give up; while I was doing it for myself there was a big part of me that was looking forward to sharing these accomplishments with her and showing her that I was taking my life back into my own hands. Despite knowing how big all of these accomplishments are, they still feel hollow and empty without having someone... without having HER to share them with. It would have been easy to quit and go back to how things were in terms of my eating and my health, but life knocks us down so we can learn to get back up stronger and wiser.

I remind myself of these things every day, of how much I've learned from this experience... how much I've grown. How much of a better person I am in general just from having known her and been loved by her for so long and, in a way, that does help me get through the day, but it doesn't help ease the sting or the hurt of not having her anymore.

I guess I still believe in my heart that she was the one I was meant to be with and even now I still can't picture a future without her, despite the fact that that's the reality now.

Either way, it's been a challenge on many levels and, at the very least, I can be proud of myself for having stepped up to that challenge.

Wow i saw your pics and they're amazing!!!

Very motivational!! on the other hand I feel sorry for your loss but i'm sure you will find your other half very soon.

What kind of workout or diet did you follow to progress that much in so little time?

Regards!

BTW in my profile pic is how i WANT to be!