I read through traineo comments regularly, and for the last week or two I've struggled to find anything out there that I can resonate with.

I approach the world of physical training through mindset, values, beliefs and goal setting, and I am lucky that I enjoy the journey that I am on. After a strenuous hike in the welsh mountains on Sat I had a look at Traineo and found even bigger mountains of posts about calories, fat burning, protein, carbs, CV and the 'I need to lose weight' stories.

Don't get me wrong it is all good stuff, but I'm concerned that a lot of people on this site are missing the point about what this world is about, and why we train in the first place. The reasons are different for all of us but sheer vanity and the quest to conform aren't really among them when we really look deeper into this, yet it is where I hear people are stuck. This is part of the reason people are struggling to hit their goals, because they are not aligning with them on a deeper level.

I guess all of this is after a recent conversation I had with a qualified PT who set up bootcamps to help people with their goals. He is now pulling his hair out as all of his customers are so obsessed with almost irrelevant rubbish that they are missing the entire point of what life is about and the difference our health makes along the journey. And completely missing their goals in the process despite religously thinking about them to the point of medical insanity. He finds it draining and almost depressing. One of the main reasons I focus on coaching and the mindset.

I don't want to piss on anyones chips because there are some great stories here on Traineo and some inspirational individuals, however I wanted to put it out there and provoke some thoughts. Let me know what you think of this thread or if it makes any sense?

Wow! what a thought provoking thread and great insight above!

I think you have really hit on a truth that speaks to me and my friends ( nontraineo buds that is ) We fit the pretty typical middle ageish - post childbearing - yet immersed in raising kids, jobs etc. Our common wail is "I can't focus on losing weight, exercising, etc. right now because my life gets in the way"....... However, we need a complete paradigm shift that focusing on our weight, exercising, etc IS our life too!!! and if we don't pay attention we won't be around to hug those grandbabies we can't wait to have. ( we want to see our own kids "get it back" hee.hee.)

I do have to say a word in defense of the traineo folks, I haven't read many that are after better fitness for vanity. We seem to be all over the board in life space, gender and age. We are all on the journey trying in our own individual ways to be more fit. I do appreciate it when people are vulnerable and share their less than perfect quests.

At any rate, you put yourself out there and shared some very thoughtful insights. Thanks

Great topic!

First of all, let me say that I'm here because I like the "motivating others" angle of Traineo. Yes, there are other sites out there like this, and as a Internet entrepreneur I think Traineo could do a much better job. That's another topic for another time...

Yes, for a lot of people it's about weight, but I think that's just a scorecard for some. The theme tends to be "living well by being healthy." It's hard to work on the "big stuff" in life when you feel like crap. Or, it's hard to aspire to higher places when you can't find the self disciple to do the basics right. Accomplishing goals sets you up to be stronger in both mind and body.

That said, I too see the vanity stuff you're talking about. It goes with the territory. And, I would be lying if I didn't admit that looking better wasn't a motivator at times. However, I've mostly out grown that. Maybe the others will as well? I tend to stress the "long slow road" with my comments to hammer home that point.

Love the topic. Anxious to hear from others.

Maybe it's time for a cyber-break, Dean? I know I get burned out from time to time if I find the printing on my screen seemingly "stuck in a loop".

Still though, when I do find a lil nugget that I didn't know about before, or find myself struck by a certain person's light shining through their words, it's a good day in the ole neighborhood. And I'll never turn away a good chuckle.

Take care, and all the best with your project, which I'm sure you'll kick arse with, literally...

That's an insightful and eloquently written post Dean, you really do have a way with words, however I thoroughly enjoyed everything Hank said, and I think he hit the nail on the head.



It's fair to say, no, that the question 'what's the meaning of life?' has a thousand different answers? Therein lies the reason for both substantive and non-substantive discussions here at Traineo.

Minu, have you considered politics?

Im here to get fit and healthy b/c by doing so i can have a better life in every aspect and i will better be able to live my dreams. In addition, i would like the added benefits of looking and feeling better and knowing that clothes can look better and feel sexier as i have a fitter and nicer and healthier looking body. yes, i am vain in some ways. I think everyone is here for a different purposes and traineo cant discriminate. I know there are definitely athletes on this site ( i am not one and never was one) but a site that has people training for triatholons and marathons that have more serious-minded (im not saying there arent serious people on here-i am very serious myself )people in terms of higher level fitness might be an additional place for you to consider.
p.s. please dont leave here!! your posts are very inspirational, motivational, thought-provoking, and powerful and i think you can benefit by staying here!

What a great topic! I would have to say that I'm on my journey for almost the same reasons as Jennifer G- while looking better doesn't hurt anything, it sure is easier to get out there and live now that I'm in better shape and have lost a good chunk of weight. Actually, it was a hike to the highest point in South Dakota that spurred me back into action. I love hiking, but I couldn't truly enjoy it because I was so out of shape and heavy. Now, I've been able to enjoy so much more of the world around me, and I wonder how I could have missed out for so long.

So Dean, please don't be discouraged by what you've been reading. I think sometimes it's just harder for people to share those "deeper thoughts" with others. Thanks so much for sharing some of yours and making us think!

Thanks for all your comments guys!!

I didn't want to sound like the lone spiritual warrior, as I too like to look good etc... and I too have specific goals along the journey that keep me in line. However, I can definitely be quite philosophical so maybe a couple of quotes will help me explain myself further.

'Sometimes we get so busy doing what we do, that we forget who we are'

'Some people can't see the wood for the trees'

'Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all'

'To know and not to do, is not yet to know'

I was just getting worried that people were getting so focused on the small bricks that contribute to the goal, that they couldn't see where the overall building came into the picture. I'm a dreamer and I've always lived by:

'If the dreams big enough, the facts don't count'

You see there are 2 ways to achieve things. The first is through force and the second is through power. Forced things happen quicker but never last. Like military action, cutting calories, training over zealously etc... This way takes too much resources and can not be sustained over time, and ultimately fails. By aligning your dreams with who you are, you build a base of power. Power is self sustaining, and grows exponentially at an alarming rate once it picks up speed. By forcing change you will never witness this phenomenon.

Learn who you are, build your castles in the sky and live the dream!!

THAT'S the Mr. G. I've come to appreciate so!

Glad to read you again, sir.

love the quotes-thanks!

Wow! what a great insight - wish our governments could get a handle on this!!! AND, it explains why the fad, quick-fix diet doesn't work!!!

Thanks for coming back on and blessing us with some great thoughts!!!

The truth is, we live in a culture that expects results yesterday, and we've taken it home into our lives.

'lose 15lbs in 10 days'

'6 min abs'

'15 mins to a new you'

You've all heard it. However sometimes the quickest way is to roll your sleeves up and do it the hard way. Sounds strange but think about it. The shortest route, is the route that aligns itself with the seasons and nature.

The majority of people these days appear to be fighting this truth, and governments are one group that highlights this. Two more quotes for you:

Lord grant me the serenity,
To accept the things I can not change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom that I may know the difference.'

'The only way to change the world is to change yourself'

The government isn't the answer. You are, I am, we are. By adopting these principles in ourselves we allow others to bask in our light.

'Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
It is that are powerful beyond measure'

I spent parts of my youth looking outwards, and blaming a lot of things for my plight. My childhood, family, friends, country, politicians, media... you name it. None of it was the problem. I was. Until I learned to look inside myself, I couldn't find the answer.

Now I realise that most things I considered problems really aren't that at all. It just required shifts in perception. I am in control of my life and nobody else. No parents, friends, politicians, celebrities... Nobody.

However, if I don't find my true self and align myself, so I can live the life I was born to live, then everybody elses life is all I have. This is why people find so much interest in other people. They are dis-connected from themselves.

Once we discover this, simple goals like maintaining our health our achieved through our natural instinct and self respect for oursleves which comes shining through. It isn't a complicated science, your body self heals on its own if you just give it a chance.

A bit deep for this site I know.....Sorry

I'm not so sure this is true. The path of least resistance is a natural instinct (for all living things), and eating to survive is one of our primal urges. I think it's important to acknowledge how much influence society has over individuals, regardless of how well connected people may be with themselves. Take Oprah for example - an incredibly insightful woman - and all her struggles with weight loss. Liter grocery stores with an abundance of unhealthy, easily affordable processed food and that path of least resistance naturally kicks in.

I believe for most people that find themselves unhealthy/overweight/out-of-shape, regaining health is an uphill struggle, something we're genetically programmed to resist. I enjoy the harmony of your thoughts Dean, they are soup for the soul, but I think getting in touch with ones self is only a single weapon in the arsenal.

I want to build on what Jeff said. I have done a ton of self reflection, and grown tremendously from it. However, the environment around me is very real, and the more I understand that and accept it, the more I understand "reality."

Here's a story:

I went rafting in Utah for a week a few years back. I was with old friends, amongst amazing beauty for several days. I came back home totally chilled out. I was feeling great and centered. A day or two later I needed to go to a business meeting across town. I got a late start, and on top of it I hit construction. It was my biggest client, and he didn't like it when I was late. I could feel the tension in my body build as I sat there, at a dead stop, in traffic. I kept telling myself to try to not get stressed, remain calm, not let anger slip in, love my fellow man, etc. Then it hit me:

The Dalai Lama doesn't drive in traffic.


No wonder he's so amazing

Of course, he has the Chinese, but you get the point...

Dean, I love what you have to say, but I want to stress the point that there is something bigger out there working all of us that take on the journey to better ourselves. The more we understand and accept that - with compassion, the easier time we'll have finding the inner strength you are talking about.

Now there's a bumber sticker if I've ever seen one! LOL

Well I must be the only vain person here. Dean hit a spot that resonates with me. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit again! He's right though, I should be focusing on living a healthy life, not what size jeans I wear. It's hard to get your mind in that place though. I think that exercising does change your outlook on life in general though, so if I exercise more, hopefully I will get there! I'm going to have to monitor my thoughts now so I can switch my mind-set. I love traineo for this reason.

Thanks Dean!

Sarah, I think it's fine to have that as one of your goals, as long as your expectations are realistic and that is not the ONLY goal and reason for you to get fit. Yeah, this has given us all alot to think about. I don't even have a response for Dean's posts yet, ahhhh temporary brain overload....

Hey Sarah,



Huh? Not a single person commenting on this topic has admitted, or even suggested to being free of vanity. I want to look good naked too!



Excellent observation. Why do you suppose achieving that mindset is difficult?

Regards.

I would argue that our physical bodies and instincts have not evolved as quickly as our technological achievements. We are naturally inclined to crave the sweetest and fattest foods available, because it wasn't that long ago, those helped us survive. These kinds of foods are more readily available and even less expensive now than ever before. Being fat used to be a sign of wealth, because only those who could afford it could eat well enough to get that way. Now we can get cheap pizzas delivered to our doorstep! We have cars and computers and elevators and a zillion other things to make our lives "easier."

Honestly, for me, being healthy takes a great deal of thought and effort. It's not a matter of being more in touch with myself as a person. I feel I am more in tune now than I have ever been, but my instincts as a human still drive me to crave cookies when I've had a hard day at work. The body's response to stress is the same as if I had been chased by a bear, back when being chased by a bear was a hard day at work. As much as I want cookies though, there is not the same need for survival that causes that instinct.

Having said all this, I do think the best way to combat my natural inclination to be fat and lazy (sorry I'm not more eloquent, I just got home from a day of being chased by a bear) is to slow down and enjoy those things that enrich my life.

Maybe this is all a matter of finding balance in the three main aspects of life: physical, mental, and spiritual? Focus on any one too much, and the others suffer. Could explain not only the increased obesity rates, but the increased depression rates as well.

I like this subject, Dean.

I think as "Mr. G" says, our culture and upbringing have a lot to do with it. We want results quickley, but we don't think about how becoming overweight was just as gradual as losing weight will be. I'm just learning about changing my mind set to thinking positive ALL the time. Not just with regards to weight. I'm trying to think positive in everything I do, but that is a hard thing to achieve after having done the opposite for nearly a quarter-century. I didn't mean to say looking good is my ONLY goal, but seeing the way my partner looks at me as the pounds come off is VERY motivational! I am getting in shape in a healthy way ie eating the right things and exercising. But overall, I just feel happier when I don't eat junk and sit around all day...

Thanks again for tuning in!!

This thread has expanded a lot more than I expected it would and we have some rather good points coming in. In particular I would like to respond to Jeff's theory that society and our instincts are in line with over eating, and his inquisitiveness in questioning whether our instinct is on our side.

I can categorically say that it is!! and here is my arguement that I will use to support my theory. Numerous studies have already been done to show how a baby left in a room full of food will choose a balanced diet. The fact that they favour high carb foods is natural in the rate at which they grow (at that age!), and also reflects in what choices they are given in these times as meals are dictated to them generally. It has also been proven that junk food over rides your instinct mechanism blocking your body from making correct decisions. A detoxed body in harmony with nature, will crave the foods that it needs the most. Generally speaking in a body that has been abused, we crave the things we are most addicted to, and it is fair to say that most addictions are around foods we are actually allergic to. You don't realistically get addictions to food your body actually needs, as your bodies needs move in a cycle. Look at pregnancy cravings. Addictions run 24/7.

Society, culture, media and our surrounding environment does influence the general public. However, it can only affect you if you choose to allow it. It is cliche but it really is a conscious decision. Most people feel enslaved to the system, and instead of living a lifestyle of freedom directed by their innate instinct, they behave like they are not in control of their choices which leads me to another behavioural observation that links directly to this subject. A lion in the wild will ALWAYS be in optimum condition. It has to be, to survive. It is free and is in total control and lives and dies by its actions. Put that same lion in the zoo and it will eat itself to death. Exactly like the majority of the western world are actually doing as we speak. People have lost their connection between themselves and their freedom, and behave like they are locked in a zoo. The zookeeper is the schools, the government, parents, employers.... etc.. It is a mindshift. When you are always in control of your actions all these barriers vanish. They are in effect an illusion. They don't actually stop you doing anything if you really want to, but we believe they do. Don't look outside, look within.

And lastly you talked about Oprah Winfrey. She is a truly amazing woman and a fantastic role model for a lot of people. However, she is also only human. I have heard her case study in NLP lectures and it relates directly to your point. When asked about what motivated her career goals she would talk about liberating America, providing opportunity and vision to black woman, and embracing personal development on a global level. A powerful dream that she has given to us as her gift to the world. However, when asked why does she excercise, her response is 'Because I don't want a big butt'. Whether you believe in NLP or not, you do get more of what you focus on, and also to ultimately succeed you need a goal bigger than yourself. When you focus on big butts, whether it is to get one or get rid of one, you are thinking of big butts, and thats what you'll see more of in the future. Also, you'll notice in the past, by FORCING herself to change she did actually have a small butt at times. Now when you're only motivation to train is to have a small butt, how hard do you think you'll train when you are close to your goal? How quick will your big butt come back?

Another detailed response but hopefully it will explain my position. We are only dictated to by external forces if we choose to be the victim. Nobody knows what it takes for me to be successful except for myself. How can I allow anyone else the right to judge me or worse still to choose my goals for me?

I like that. Very well put.

And on the subject of self-imposed barriers; for something intangible, they can be some of the most formidable things in the world.

I wouldn't be a professional singer today if I hadn't blammed through mine back in my early teens.

Write ON, Dean,

Minu

There is nothing wrong with people having goals with losing weight. A side benefit, that they will eventually learn through their journey, is that they will be healthier and feel better.

Nothing wrong with having goals of fitting in certain size clothes. As long as they know it may take some time and a LOT of work.

Unfortunatley, society, doctors, PTs all are guilty of judging people on how they look and their weight. Doctor always says, "you need to lose ___ lbs". He doesn't say, "eat better, so you can become more healthy and find the purpose of life".

I totally agree Fred

However if we don't empower them with what they need to achieve these goals then inspiring people to dream only leads to frustration when they can't bring it all to reality.

We can achieve these goals, to that there has never been doubt. However something so simple is only ever achieved by such a small minority that there must be a flaw in the way most of us approach things.

Don't you think?

Start with the end in mind, make goals along the way to the dream, make plans to hit your goals, then act on them. I use goals, but they are fuelled by a higher focus. My dreams. Goals aren't big enough to keep people on track unless they are linked to your dreams, and dreams are linked to your heart.

Wow! what a thought. Have you thought about writing a book - really?

This thread has really prompted me to think more deeply about my weight loss. Lots of good insights ... I love Jeff's witty interjections.

I had an epiphany about 2 months ago after losing 25 pounds and breaking some exercise limits for me by "spinning". Before losing the 25 pounds I always thought "If only I lost 20 pounds......life will be great! I will be so happy! no problems etc.etc." Well that kind of thinking is sabatoge in the making and is the point of this thread. "Losing the weight" is a part of a bigger goal not just the end in itself.
I am 25 pound thinner but life is still filled with its share of "joyzappers".. a sick kid, a tryant boss, a broken water heater..

So, I will take a deep breath... and continue seeking health in the midst of life's inevitable "junk"!

lucky me. . . For the longest time I was so caught up in my mind's eye with being the unattractive guy that I was, that I furthered my own self destructive and unhealthy lifestyle without even thinking about it. Every once in awhile I'd say I need to lose weight, get my weight down to x pounds. Typically I'd lose about 5 or 10 pounds, then I'd find myself cheating at workouts until I just stopped doing them.

Recently I realized that my goals were synonymous with failure. I finally figured out that it's really not about doing extra work to lose the weight, its about eating a proper diet to stay healthy. I realize now that regardless whether I lose weight or not when I eat right and exercise I feel better, and if I do this for long enough I'll have a healthy body. Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe that once I've got a healthy body it becomes less of a question of needing to lose weight and it becomes a fact that I will lose weight.

I guess what I'm saying is the amount of weight I lose is completely unimportant now, if I continue to eat right and exercise, my body will eventually balance itself. If it needs to be 100lbs to continue to be healthy it will be, the same as if it needs to be 300lbs (both are obvious exaggerations) This is what the body will naturally do. It feels as though the culture and society around me had helped in training me into subconsciously believing that we are are like sponges, and that it is healthy for us to consume and consume and consume, and to lose weight we have to do all this extra stuff.

The fact is that we are not predetermined to gain weight, we are predetermined to be at exactly the weight that is optimum for our body, and that this obesity problem that we are seeing in North America (maybe other parts of the world but I can only speak of what I know is entirely a side effect of our own want for more. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming my own health issues on anything but myself and maybe the people who have come before me. It is us who have let this happen to ourselves.

*I just realized right now that I'm having a bit of an epiphany so sorry that its starting to be an essay.*

Its almost as if we've willingly and completely removed our own natural instinct to be healthy simply so that it can be sold back to us. "You want to be healthy? Here, buy these supplements and exercise machines, they're the quickest way to be attractive so that you can look cool while drinking your Coke, eating your Big Mac, and living the dream again!"

The good thing about this is that we ourselves don't even have to buy it back, all it takes is for us to realize we have the power (and dare I say the responsibility) in ourselves alone to use that instinct that is hardwired deep down inside us all to be healthy.

I hate to be that guy and say that I feel like I've opened my eyes, but that is how I feel. I hope that this has clicked on some idea in even just one person through reading what I've had to say, and I hope that it might help someone in thinking through any problem they themselves might have.

I may have come off as one of those anti-corporate and anti-capitalist freaks in what I've said, which is not the case. I just think that maybe our corporate/capitalist society has gone a little too far in selling us our own freedom. I guess I just hope that I didn't just turn this into a socio-political discussion.

Well Said Fred, in fact Its almost time for my yearly physical. Last year my Doc told me it would be a lot better if you did shed some LBS. I was like yadda yadda, so I thought i'll show him. I have dropped some LBS. It wasnt his help that made me Change the way I lived it was information I obtained primarly on Traineo. 20% is knowledge and 80% is behavior. With the knowledge and information obtained on Traineo I made behavior changes.

I was recently at a function were I saw my Doc in a social setting. He told me I was looking great and asked Me how I did it, What diet did you use. I went into the top secret diet that is widley know but seldome used. It is the Burn more than you take in Diet. Its takes sometime but the results are for a lifetime.

I recently started to help out with an after school program to help condition winter athletes at our high school. I have recruited 2 8th grade kids that are obese. Together we are obtaining more knowledge and changing behaviors. Both of these boys want to become athletes and they are on theri way. Great post Dean.

Excellent point. And, I think it's very important for everyone to ask themselves: How do I act when I get frustrated? Then, take that a step further, and ask yourself how did I handle frustration when I was a kid? What did I learn about dealing with things that seem to get the better of me?

Sorry, not trying to be a shrink here, but how we each relate to times when things aren't going well is a big part of what you are talking about Dean.

The "victim" part of your message is huge. I see where you are coming from on that and the NLP themes. I have a coach who asks me: "on a scale of 1-10 how are you today?" When my feet hit the ground in the morning I say, "Today I'm going to be a 10. No time to wait." However, being a 10 means dealing with the joyzappers (well put Suesue), and the pressures that the environment outside our control put on us.

It's not all about willing our way to success, it's about being smart. A lion hunts differently in the heat.

Bumper sticker there for you Jeff

We need to adjust our approach to goal setting with "the weather in mind" in order to not set unrealistic goals that lead to frustration. Judging by the posts I read here, the "long and slow" approach we all talk about seems to support this line of thinking.

Damn good thread Dean!

- Herb

Dean, I understand what you are saying (to a point).

I think people should have goals and "mini goals". Meeting your mini goals will eventually help you meet your "ultimate" goal. I have had those from the beginning of Traineo. I do wish more people would do that.

However, if you are suggesting people should just accept when they don't meet goals, that its okay, because they are more healthy or feel better and their life is better, then I disagree. IF they are not meeting their goals, there is something wrong. The people with REALISTIC goals (and mini goals) should be reevaluating their workout and diet patterns, every single day and honestly say if they are meeting them. IF you are creating realistic goals and you are really staying honest with your diet and workouts, then the goals will be met.

Dreams? I think if I meet my FITNESS goals at the very end some of my dreams MAY come true. However, meeting my goals is a lot more realistic than my dreams becoming reality.

Sounds familiar. (great thread, and lots of other great posts here)

Folk have asked me how I managed to lose the weight and transform the way I look (well at least on my healthy days) ... and I almost don't know where to start.

Because it's not just one thing, or one diet. There have been a few hundred little things I've picked up from all the folk here on traineo, and that's even before we start talking about the mutual motivating and support we get here.

I've been close to the other extreme too, one day feeling light on my feet, tight 'in all the right places' and very athletic, the next day sudden cardiac issues, sickness and debilitating injury. So fast it makes your head spin.

It quickly puts it in perspective when you are simply giving thanks that you are able to be there for your wife and kids -- or the people you love whoever they may be -- walk the dog to the end of the road ...

Either way, with this site we are able to help each other to a little more health, ... or whatever it is that the many different people here are seeking,

...whatever bridge it is they want to cross at this point in their lives.

So, if there's a little too much obsessing over the details, or over one's body, once in a while, or for a while, a little vanity, there's still a lot of good to go around.

When I come across folk who really want to make the change, I direct them here, cos I know it's a great support network, and they will find all the help they need in finding the answer that works for them.