I am currently having a chat with one of my close friends, and she brought up the point that I am obsessed with calories, and apparently, it's all I talk about? (which I really doubt.)

Another friend has mentioned that I'm all bout calories too.

I thought a friend was somebody you could talk to for support and sharing whatever's on your mind. I can't help it if I look at nutrition labels all the time before consuming something, and put it down if it's just not calorie worth it. It's now my lifestyle, and I think it's a good thing to obsess about it.

It's difficult to not have people who share your lifestyle. And it's also difficult when you're family always pokes fun at your bulging tummy and wonder how the hell a 20 yr old manages to have a belly (cuz according to my aunt, I should only have one if I had a kid) and yet they roll their eyes if ever I mention the calories I burnt exercising or the calories I'm consuming/have consumed.

So what're your suggestions for keeping it all in balance?

Just brush it off and ignore them. That's what i do for friends and some people in my family, such as my sister. I'm lucky though coz my parents are pretty supportive/tolerant of me telling how many calories are in the food that I'm eating and the food that they are eating :P.

Oh, and looking at nutritional labels is smart. If people are too lazy or too negligent to do it, that's their problem...

Hey Jess,

It sounds like you are in a tough situation and an unfair one too; on one hand being bullied (that's what it is) about your shape and on the other getting a hard tme for trying to do something about it. I think the best thing (in my very humble opinion) would be to see whether there is any truth in what they are saying. Are they genuinely concerned for you (and just not being very sensitive about it)? If not then consider the possibility that they are a little envious of your efforts. Changing your lifestyle takes a lot of work and some degree of obsession. Maybe a little part of them wishes they were that interested in their own bodies. I got the same kind of thing from my little sister who has always been a UK size 8 (US 4?). She told me that I was 'obsessed with being skinny' when she noticed my shape changing. I don't think she meant it maliciously, but when someone close to you drastically changes their physicality it changes the dynamic of the relationship between you e.g. they are no longer 'the slim one in the family' and that can be a bit threatening.

As long as you are being sensible (and from your profile it looks like you are) try not to worry about it too much. Hopefully they will get used to it and come round. Maybe you can get much of the support you need here. Tell us about your calories burnt!

Take care,
K

Ever meet those people who are pregnant and ALL they can talk about is babies and baby related stuff? they might not think they are over-talking it but others do. It sounds to me like you've become a diet bore.

Whether you're in need of dieting or not is irrelevant. Fact is, nobody is interested in your diet or your fitness regime and few people ever want to hear about the calorie content of one food or another.

I would treat the whole weightloss endeavour as something that others just don't want to hear about it. This is where traineo comes in because here, people AREN'T bored with talk of calories and you can discuss and muse and ask and talk about as much as you want, because we ARE interested.

If you are talking too much about calories, it doesn;t matter whether you think you are or not. That two different people are telling you this means they are probably right. In your mind know the calorie content of foods and nutritional balance but you don't have to speak it out loud. It is quite possible to be on a diet and no one know about it.

but don't get down about it, Jess - we're all here to share your thinking and ideas. so just drop by at traineo

ya I know, but it's not about envy or jealousy because both these friends (different group) are slimmer than me.

and I guess I do talk about it a lot or if I'm eating something (which half the time you are...) I'll point out something or I'll look at the contents. I look mostly at calories but I take a lot at fats, carbohydrates, protein and fibre as well.

I told her fine, I just won't talk about it (cuz I know there's always Traineo) and she kept trying to defend herself saying it's great and all, even though the last time she mocked me for eating healthy (since when did you start eating healthy? I quote) and now she claims to care about what she eats now. She's like that, it kills me.

I need to find other people like me.. this forum is great but people in real life that live my lifestyle where everything that comes in, and out (calories!) matter and are estimated, at least. you know, kept in check

Hey Jess,
I have to agree with Heather on this one. We get so pysched to talk about our goals especially when we are overweight and around skinny people. We need that encouragement. But a person who has not nor has ever had any weight issues, will not understand your needs to talk and share. One thing about friends, they will tell you the truth, if something is bugging them. Cherish your friends, embrace your support network at Traineo, we don't mind hearing it!
Keep us posted!!!!
Sarah

hey jess, i know just what you mean
it's very difficult for me to hang out with my girlfriends, who most of the time just want to go get fast food or drink beer, and then they complain that they're not at all happy with their physical appearance
however, when i get all excited about the progress i've made and ask them to join this with me they have no interest

i do have a saving grace though, my boyfriend is extremely supportive, and although he's been skinny his whole life and never had to worry about what he eats, he LOVES health food and eats all of the things that i love to eat too, it is very important to have at least one person in your life (a non internet existence) that is behind you and will encourage you that you're doing a good job and you should stick to it

traineo has been awesome as well, and i've found out so much information just through paging through the threads

Jess,

Keep up your efforts. I'm in a similar situation. I've just learned to find the right folks to talk to about a healthier lifestyle by searching them out. The others will begin to motivate you once they notice your shape changing. And they will know the working out and healthy eating is making a difference - and some will even begin to join you.

I know what you mean. I recently skipped out on hanging out with friends (aquaintances really) because all they were going to do was... get drunk and eat pizza (I think they wanted to order one pizza per person????)

I figured I would have no self control not being around pizza and alcohol for so long, I would go absolutely nuts and would eat 1500 calories right then and there!!! over the probably 2000 I had consumed for my day.

I said no, I didn't feel like it, when the real reason were all those unhealthy high calorie foods. I'm glad I made that move, cuz I heard it was nothing special anyways.

As for the friend, she's quite a hypocrite and it annoys me that it seems like this is such a big issue with her. I told her I'll simply stop talking about it in front of her, and she tried to defend her point and I just stopped the argument and said I get you don't like it, I'll stop, so now let's just stop talking about it.

It's upseting that this happens a lot with her, ya I get obessive and compulsive, it's the way I am, but I think this is a good thing to obsess about and I'm a very technical person. To lose weight, you have to account for every calorie in, and out. So that's what I'm doing.

I admit I may be a little too passionate and obsessive, but we all have our thing.

I'm at work now, I just can't wait til I can go home, set up my hammock, and rest in it. Alone time is always good.

My friends are too busy with "their things", so this is how I keep busy. I watch myself, carefully.

hey, we're architecture students, we're all passionate and obsessive

i always feel like if i'm not counting the calories i eat then i'm liable to slip and eat WAY more than i should, and i don't mind counting them. i like to know what goes in my body

i am at work too, and tonight i'm staying with my friends, and i even packed a dinner just because i know they'll want to go get fast food or something. i think they're tired of me talking about it too, so i'm going to try to keep it to a minimum

i cut alcohol SEVERELY out of my diet, and i really think that that's a big reason for me maintaining my weightloss plan, so i'm nervous as to what the night's activities will be. hopefully i can keep to a one or two drink minimum

Hey Jess,

It's sad when you don't get support from the people you care about. My wife hates it when I talk about anything related to diet or fitness. The irony is that she worries about her weight and appearance more than I do. I believe she hates talking about it because of her own internal conflict, not because of hypocrisy or malice. She's my biggest cheerleader in everything else, so I miss her encouragement on this. Maybe it's the same with your friend?

Sometimes I think moderation has just gone out of style. Culture seems to have a real binge/purge mentality toward fitness, not to mention sex, wealth, and the sanctity of life. Where else do people crow about purity and then use images of barely clothed anorexic teenagers in almost every advertisement? It's hard to maintain a consistent perspective in that environment, and it leads to strange behavior like trying to eat an entire pizza for fun. Judging by your profile, your family has to be insane to complain about your belly. Doing so reveals more about their mental health than your physical health.

That said, I have to ask -- do they have any reason to be worried about you? A lot of people use diet as a cover for really destructive behavior. Based on what you say, I don't sense that's true about you. But it seems like a prudent question to ask yourself.

Anyhow, you look fantastic, so keep it up and have fun counting calories! I happen to have had 438 of them for breakfast.

Maybe this has been said already, but the thing that should be important here is you are working on a goal for you, not for your freinds, your family, or anybody else. So who cares what they have to say unless its" hey those freakin jeans look awesome, are they new?" and you can smile because you know they aren't, you just happened to have pulled 'em out of that part of the closet that you keep all your stuff that didn't use to fit in. The only reason people put others down or don't want to hear about how you're making progress is because they aren't making progress themselves. I know because I've been on both sides. When I was stagnant and not doing anything to improve my fitness, I didn't want to hear about what others were doing either. But now that I am, I love hearing about others progress and try to help in any way that I can to keep them on the path to their personal goals. Keep up the label reading, it is really the only way that you know what the quality of food is you are putting into your body. Good Luck

@ Dave Smith

I don't know if this answers your question.. but I'm working out to lose a couple of pounds, for me. I gained more than I should've on my trip and I can't fit in some of my tighter clothes.. which sucks, so my fat bulges out at the tummy area and it looks like I have a lot more than I do.. but I do have a bulge because I ate a lot of trans fat filled pastries in Greece.. and I forgot that that goes straight to the belly.

So I'm doing this for me, to lose this, to test myself. I just had a small brownie and a small coconut pastry stick :S total 400 calories? gulp.

you know its funny - i've had an experience with family now that i've been losing weight - they keep telling me that "you're losing too much" and "you're gonna be too skinny", even though by all measures i still need to lose 15-20 lbs of fat. Instead of being supportive, my wife keeps saying that i'm losing too much, and that she isn't gonna find me attractive if i lose too much weight, i'm gonna look "too skinny".

All of these people saying these things in some respect i think are just in some way insecure about their own weight, and feel like now that i'm losing weight, they're going to seem "more overweight". I know that is the case with my wife - i've lost about 40 lbs so far, and she is frustrated with her own slower weight loss. Go figure - just goes to show that you need to be doing the weight loss for yourself, and not for others. Do it to feel and look healthier, and not to please others.

ya I spoke to a couple of my close friends about it, and they all say ya I do obsess about it.

so I told one of them, if I refuse to eat something or if I look at nutrition labels, let me be, it's my business, like no rolling eyes or comments. I know my limits and all and I'm planning on losing weight and still be healthy, if not.. more healthy.

He keeps telling me you don't need to lose weight, and I don't, but I want to and I can cuz I'll still be very healthy.

And ya, those couple of pounds extra I have hide well in clothes.

Ugh I hate that. My dad insults me all the time about it, particularly if I start to think out loud and say something like "Oh, I'm a little under my calorie goal for today, I can have an apple" or "Woah, this only has 20 calories? Yum!". Sorry Dad, but I can't eat 3,000 calories a day like you.

My one friend kept nagging me until I yelled at her. I figure it's because she's a little taller than me and (I guess) around 200 pounds, where as I'm 140 and my flab hides decently when I wear clothes that actually fit.

Tell them it's not their business, and you have every right to try and be healthy.

If only it were that simple

The only person that tolerates me talking about my weight loss success and calories in and out is my mom, tolerates, not necessarily supports.

And since school started again, it's been hard to cut down on calories at dinner (which is ultimately where my day gets ruined, instead of having 300 calorie meals like I did in summer like a sandwich, I come home tired and hungry and there's this big delicious meal prepare on the dinner table for me, so at that point I have no more motivation and I give in.

I don't believe I ever go over to actually gain weight, but I'm definitely not losing!

I guess you may consider it falling off the wagon, but so far I did my HIIT workout twice this week and the third is going to be sat or sunday, and I"ll try to workout the whole weekend so I can hopefully do some damage control for the following week. It's just so hard!

But I think as a trick, if I see a yummy meal, I'll just have a bite, pack it up for lunch the next day (portion control) and reward myself with a 100 calorie popcorn snack, been a while since I had one!

Maybe your friends are not trying to give you a hard time, but are trying to be your real friends.

Some of the best friends I ever had were the ones that were brutally honest to me whether I want to hear it or not. I am fanatical about training and I have read a lot of your posts and taken a lot of inspiration from your amazing drive and energy. But maybe sometimes you push too far and your friends are just trying to care for you the only way they know how.

I'm a little concerned about the 'obsession' over calories, but then I'm not a calorie counter myself. The reason I train is to enjoy life to the max!! Sometimes I'll party too hard, sometimes I'll have a beer, sometimes I'll have a gorgeous curry and sometimes I'll attempt a dangerous event, just to see if I can. But its all in balance. My main inspiration is having a great life, and training complements that beautifully. If I find training consumes me to a point that the fun and lifes experiences take a back seat, I sit down a nd re-evaluate why I train in the first place. Maybe your friends don't understand your level of dedication, which is why they find it difficult to support such goals.

So as long as your living life to the full, I say go-girl you can get all the support you need from myself and traineo members, otherwise if training is consuming you, then I understand your friends concerns.

All the best

And Jess, don't forget, YOU LOOK GREAT.

Do you FEEL great?

If so, then perhaps your friends do have a valid point--annoying to you as it may be...

Have a good weekend,