So, this is going to sound really bad...many years ago, I was at my highest weight ever...245lbs. I moved back home...a bad relationship was to blame at hte time. I had a lethargic boyfriend (of course, I am responsible for my own actions...so, I took control and GOT OUT!).

I got into this reborn phase after being in that phase for 3 1/2 years. I started walking 4 miles a day..no days off...bad, but yes...I was consistant. Ate good...overall? my weight was down to 207 (with my frame, it LOOKS like 160..I have wide hips...). Well, the sad news is some drama had happened and I lost my will to walk...I started to eat bad from stress, and I haven't been walking. I have a loving boyfriend now who supports me, but I just can't get myself up like I used to be. I'm up to a whopping 247lbs again. I gained all my weight back. I feel horrible...

The thing is...I KNOW I need to do something. But, that is half the battle. It's like knowing you are going to feel GREAT when you lose the weight...exercise battles depression. But, how do you battle the depression enough for it not to supress your urge to lose weight? It's pretty bad here where I just get bored (I never used to before...). Anyone have any advice? I KNOW I can do it...I've done it before! So, why is it so hard the second time around?

Much love,
Brandi

Well, I think you've come a long way to where you are, and you are right, being ready to do something IS a good start. I think you need to enlist your boyfriend's help, in a gentle way, to work with you on getting healthier. Go walk with him, prepare healthy meals together, etc.

When I think of all the times I thought "I really need to lose some weight", it wasn't until my husband got involved with me that it really has worked (for the last 6 months). And you have to WANT the better, healthier life more than whatever bad food is in front of you, and you have to make the exercise a "do or die" part of your life. Make it a habit!

Good luck in your journey! I saw someone mention here this good idea: What if you you write down what you want to attain, goal-wise, specifically and in clear language, on a notecard? Then carry it around with you to remind you of why you are making these sacrifices now. Nothing I've ever wanted came to me without sacrifice and focus and intensity.

This is a great first step, now take a few more!
Sarah

Thanks, Sarah! Problem I think is, my boyfriend is in Dallas, I'm in Chicago. We are moving in with each other next month. I'm going to start working out with him then. I just feel guilty that I couldn't do things on my own and don't want to be dependent. I mean, when I lost all that weight originally, I was single. My boyfriend loves me the way I am and has so much confidence in me. I just wish I could prove it to him how I did it before.

Oh yeah, and I tried the writing down the goal thing...I even have the little black dress to fit into in the closet, my brother's wedding was coming up and I was supposed to lose for that, I guess I should try that notecard thing. That's a good idea..maybe set my phone to give me reminders through the day. Thanks for the help! I just wish I knew why I can't do it the way I did before. It's frustrating!

Brandi

Brandi trust me when I say you are not alone... I understand how frustrating it can be to lose weight the second time around...My last two years of high school i had lost about 40 pounds, the minute I left to college i gained them ALL back! So I too share your frustration and motivation to change...once again.... we can do this!!

Agh, long distance relationships are the WORST for eating!!! I am so happy to be living with my boyfriend now and preparing our own meals rather than going out to eat all the time since it was a special occasion when we'd get to see each other. Instead than seeing yourself as being dependent on him for motivation, why not try to view him and your upcoming living situation as an asset in your weight-loss tool collection? You HAVE done it before- it's in you somewhere to do it alone again, but for whatever reason circumstances have changed in your life. That doesn't make you bad, or defective, or dependent- it just means you need to be flexible with your motivational tools. If you feel like you're falling into the "he loves me just the way I am" trap (not that it's a bad thing to have!) ask him to support you and your efforts with "at a healthier weight we'll be able to enjoy each other that much longer". You're thinking about it, you're writing about it, you're asking about it- you're ready to start making those small changes. Good luck!!

the long distance thing was good for me, er, for my fitness that is. my wife and i (dating at the time) went to the same college. she quit and moved back to her home town, 3 hours away. after we got engaged, i had about a half a year until we got married. it was summer and all my friends had gone home and i didn't have anything to do so i worked out everyday. i was in shape and trim for our wedding - that was 5 years ago.

maybe use your time apart to really kick your workout into gear. i know you said you don't want to be dependant on him, so get out there and do it and you can help motivate him by showing him your dedication.

later

Hang in there Brandi! You obviously know what to do. And to steal a line from the movie "Waterboy"...."You can do it!!!"

I think physical exertion it the key to feeling better. Walk, hike, bike, swim do it for your self.

We all have bad days. Try an exercise video. I currently love Jari Love's Ripped series. It is tough at first but you will get results.

Keep us posted!

i ditto what richie said. when my wife was overseas, i worked out a lot more often. i lifted weights every day and ran 7 miles every morning. i also ran between 15 and 20 miles 2-3x a week.

the biggest change i made was disconnecting myself from tv. it's really changed my life. i have so much time to get things done. i still watch tv, but i don't schedule into my life. if there's an all new episode of my favorite tv show, so what; it'll come on again. my workouts ARE scheduled. they are a priority. TV and other distractions are put off until i've completed my workout.

i'm not sure if that's a factor for you, but if it is, and if it's something you can take control of, you'll find yourself much more motivated to exercise.

Thank you EVERYONE for your help. My boyfriend and I had had a big talk about it last night. I think like Megan has said...I might have fallen into the "he loves me the way I am" trap. Because, we had discussed how when he tries to motivate me, I hear about it, but I don't see if and he can't see me to push me. So, he agreed that when we live together, he's not going to let me give up and give in. I really need that push!! AGH!

Oh, and like Richie had mentioned, I do intend to be in shape for our wedding...no if, and's, or but's (or fat butt's..lol) about it! So, that will motivate me. But, that's a ways off. I always procrastinate...gah! I think my problem is I keep wanting to do it for a particular reason but I'm not doing it solely for myself and my enjoyment. I used to ENJOY walking and clearing my mind. Now, I can't wait for the walk to be over or I get so frustrated because my mind goes into HUGE thinking mode. Thought it would help if I have a partner to talk to, but all my friends are too busy here. I hope it helps big time when I'm with my partner.

Thanks to all of you for the help and motivation. I'm feeling a lot better...watching that meter go up, and the love from my boyfriend helps, too! I just have to get in that mindset...ugh! lol...

I've not got anything to add but I still wanted to say good luck with your goals and you KNOW you have determination buried in there somewhere - you joined traineo for a start! and that's already a step forward. So good luck and I wish you every success

Thanks, Heather!

Brandi,

I'm in the same boat. What's working for me is believing in the beautiful me. Believing in the potential I have, the talents and attributes I have been given, and the grace I have to offer to the world. When I feel good, I am more in touch with this. I've rediscovered that I want to be in touch with this woman constantly, not just every 6-18 months. Yesterday I put in my Slim in 6 DVD and worked out for the first time in a LOOOONG time. I am so sore today!! Here's a quote that goes along with all of this:

"Life brings some hard lessons. The sturdiest plants are not grown under glass, and strength of characgter is not derived from the avoidance of problems." ~Ruth May Fox

Even though it will always be a challenge, great things come from facing those challenges. For me, it is an excess of 41lbs at the moment. And not wanting to get out of bed. I anticipate wonderful things resulting from facing these challenges!!

Best of luck...never ever give up!!

Guess what all??? It's been a while since I've been on here, but I'm down to 231!!!! :-D

Brandi,

Great job !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You knew you could do it and you have done it.
Small steps lead to big goals and you are on your way.
You should be very proud of yourself for taking control and starting again on this journey.

Blessings,
Debbie

wow good for you!!!

Thanks! I feel great! 23lbs in 5 months is a nice progression I think.

That's fantastic Brandi!