people telling me not to lose weight and that I look fine the way I am. Ya, I look fine, but I want to look flawless. I was at the higher end of the healthy BMI and now I just want to push myself to be at the lower end, and get rid of pure fat so I can see my abs or whatever and get a flat tummy and less clunky thighs.

When a person like me (small frame) only has between 5-8lbs to lose, it doesn't show that much with clothes and you can't hide when you're in a bikini at the beach.

I'm doing this for myself but it's just real hard to explain to people that I want to do this (without getting weird looks or having talks about anorexia) and it's also hard to motivate myself to continue because I'm thinking heck, people say I look great, why keep pushing myself?

Just the rant of the day. I'm sure there are a lot of people on Traineo that feel that same "pressure" because they only have a couple of pounds they want to get rid off, whether it's holiday weight or just a personal thing.

I know how you feel. I'm not short (5'6.5") but I really want to get under 150lbs, preferably below 145. Right now I hover on the BMI line between okay and overweight and would like to be around 21-22.

But I have my family telling me that I look really good (I only see them every few months or so) and they don't seem to get it. I'm still the biggest one in the family by far, and I would prefer if they were more encouraging about my goal instead of the constant you look fine why are you doing anything. Doesn't help either that I'm the only one who does any constant exercise. My mom gardens and walks and stuff so at least for her to be in shape it's understandable. By my two sisters... one just had a baby in December and looks as tiny as every, and the other goes to pilates or yoga one or two times a week and that's it and then tells me on msn everyday how they had muffins or cinnambons or donuts at work that morning. Arg.

Doesn't help that one of my sisters use to tell me constantly when I was growing up how I was fat. (Kind of ironic, because when you look at pictures of her until she was about 3 talk about rolls! ). Anyway, I've never been huge, just always hovered on the lower end of the overweight, but I can't take a compliment from her anymore because in the back of my mind I'll always hear her taunting voice.

So instead, I'm learning to let myself set the goals and to get encouragement from people like you guys, and people at the gym I go to. At least you guys understand.

Good post! it's nice to see other people in the same shoes as me!

I too am the "bigger one in the family" (not that much bigger...) I weigh more than my oldest sister who's taller than me, they keep saying it's muscles just cuz my whole life I was a tomboy so it's automatically assumed that I'm just more active, which is sort of true in my case...

But ya on the BMI line I think I'm at 21 or so and I want to be at 19-20 (I think the lowest you can go is 18.5)

About being a fat kid, it's funny I seem to find the fatter the kid is (but still healthy, I'm not talking overweight), the thinner they are and the better metabolism they have when they're older! I just wish I were an inch or two taller, that would probably help with my metabolism.. anywho..

"Flawless" is unachievable.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

I can definitely relate to your predicament. I'm only 5 feet tall, and I'm trying to lose around 7 pounds. I certainly don't NEED to lose the weight, but I would feel better about myself if I did. It's funny, because people will tell me that I don't need to lose weight, but when I did get to my ideal weight (briefly) I got so many compliments and people reacted much more positively towards me! Sadly, I have a very hard time maintaining a lower weight once I reach it....

Anyway, just know that you are not alone!

ok fine, not flawless to the standards of society but flawless according to my standards, IE my ideal weight

similar situation here. i'm about 5' 7.5", having grown a little under two inches since high school. in high school i weighed about 150 pounds, which was borderline overweight for my height. fortunately, i went through some hormonal changes once i got to college, and i think i have genetics on my side, but nonetheless i've been on a very slow and gradual journey to my ideal weight (which is really just a number i chose based on bmi).

i don't talk about losing weight with people for the very reason you mentioned. i guess my weight loss is more of a private matter for me. nobody really needs to be privy to how i feel about my body unless i solicit the information.

now that i'm only four pounds away from my goal, i can look back at my journey and pinpoint the times when i was most and least successful. the thing that i found is that i lost BY FAR the most weight when i didn't give a poo about losing it. one of the steps toward reaching that point was when i realized that my diet and exercise life didn't have to be a public affair, much like one's sex life. at some point in my journey, i realized that a healthy diet and exercise was making me feel great and getting rid of pain in my body that i've had my entire life, and that was enough reason for me to keep doing it. but i digress.

i think the reason that people tell you that you look great is because you do. whenever i get into that situation (which is rarely because very few people know about my diet and exercise life), i just thank them and smile, because i know it's true. after all, i've been giving my body some major love by treating it so well. but i still head to the gym on monday!

As a future therapist, I would delve more into your desire to achieve your goal, as opposed to your actual goal.

Jessi, I'm at 21.7 BMI but I'm aiming for 19 too. I know how you feel about people being aggravating and trying to tell you that it's not necessary to get in better shape. I have one friend at university who's always pressuring me to eat when I'm at the caf with them even when I'm not hungry and have eaten earlier, my friends just assume I haven't eaten. But yea, keep going with your goals . Oh and I empathize with the whole looking fine w/ clothes on but not as great w/ a bikini. But yea, flawless according to your OWN standards IS achievable so keep it up girl

I think part of it is jealousy

tonight I'm going to a buffet :s for a friend's bday, I'll try and stick to salad and little amounts of dressing as much as possible, I'm going for a run now to at least help me a bit in the whole calorie thing...

and thanks CI for the support! I think I'm at 21.6 BMI so we're pretty much in the same boat! I'm at about 120 now.. my original goal was 117, I modified it to 118 and I might even want to dip as low as 115 (the lowest I COULD go would be 113) but I only have about 2 weeks til Greece and 1 week til the beach so if I can manage to lose 2 more lbs before the beach and like 3-4 before Greece, I'll be friggin happy!!!!

actually, I'm at 21.2, I don't know how accurate that is, I don't know how much I would weigh at 20 BMI but I think it just might be my ideal weight/goal!

according to shape magazine my ideal weight is 115(r u freakin kidding me!!) that made me feel really insecure...i'm 5'3 and at my skinniest i was 125...which means i'm still 10 pounds overweight...people too tell me i must be out of my mind to be so obessed with my weight but i guess its something i need to do for myself...always wanting to be 10pounds lighter...what are you doing to lose the last few?

I'm 5'3" as well and my initial aim was 117 and now I'm sort of opting for 115, but that won't happen in the 2 weeks I have left until Greece, unless I commit majorly and I've been eating normally last week (stupid snacks ruin my day) and today and 2 days ago, I had wayyy too much dessert (buffet, friend's bday BBQ)

BUT I have the right mindset and know what to do, still working out a lot too so I'm just going to get right back on track and do this right!!!! TOMORROW!

better not have any more surprises to ruin everything!

funny cuz at my friend's BBQ tonight, I mentioned I ate too much and needed to lose it off and my friend was like are you crazy, you don't have to lose anything (I showed him my belly) and he was like oh pfttt that's skin.. I was thinking, maybe the first inch of it

but I'm eating well (it gets ruined at the end of the day though cuz I think to myself I'm doing quite well or because I can longer fight the cravings)

I unfortunetly have EVERY single bad kind of food in my house. To fight the cravings, I'll have a 100 calorie bag of popcorn or 1 dark chocolate bar everyday so I'm still happy and can stick to it better.

In addition to eating well, I do cardio everyday (burn about 300 calories) and weights whenever I feel like it, which ends up being about every other day.

former fat guy Rob Cooper has some great articles about getting past those last few pounds. he's here on traineo now too! check out formerfatguy.com

i'm not even trying to lose weight, but i still found the articles interesting. i'll see if i can find a link to the page i have in mind.

and sorry jess, i think i fall into the category of telling people they don't need to lose weight.

it's good to know that. i've always said that to friends thinking it was encouraging, rather than discouraging. i think i'll try to re-word it now. "you've accomplished a lot so far. i know this great site for helping with the last few pounds..."

=)

well the thing is, I never had the last few pounds to lose, just those couple I've been trying for years. I won't die if I don't, and I"ll still be healthy, but I'll be even healthier if I do and definitely happier!

btw, i wish i was going to greece!!

i hear the food is great...=p

I better be walking a lot because of all the eating I'll be doing, would definitely suck to gain back the weight it took me so long to finally get rid of!

I wouldn't obsess so much over BMI. It's not the best indicator of your fitness level (think about a body builder...his would place him in the overweight, even obese category). If I were you, I'd get my body fat percentage calculated and try to lower that instead. I've been 18.5-19 BMI for the last three years, but my body fat has gone from 16 to 12.
As someone who sometimes lapses into near-psychosis about my fitness level, I also tend to agree with Tricia O. I may only have 12% body fat, but will I ever truly be happy with myself? Is a percentage ever going to be the thing that makes me confident? I think not.

ya I have a friend (who lives a bit too far for me) that has a body caliper thingy, I don't have one and I know that's the best way to calculate your BF%.

I might start working at a gym so maybe I'll know then.. but then I won't have the encouraging results of going from like 20% to 15% or something...

12% body fat? that's pretty low no? aren't women body builders like 10?

I think typically that percentage just falls under the lighter side of "athlete," not scary fitness lady who can do one-armed push-ups or anything. That's about as low as I can ever hope to get and it's mostly due to being a runner and carefully managing my diet. But the more muscle I gained through weight-training, obviously the lower percentage of body fat I had, even though this means I inevitably gained a pound or two.

I think that BMI is a bunch of BS. I am 6 foot. I guess I need to be around 180 or under to be at normal weight? I don't think that is humanly possible. If so you would be all bones. I was around 190-200lbs at one point and I don't think you could pinch a bit of fat on me at that point. So I don't go by that....

I totally agree with Nate. My boyfriend is in the same boat at 6'2". He is naturally a broad-shouldered guy and even though he is able to run a 1/2 marathon in 2 hours, he's still in the overweight category...and not just by a little, he's smack dab in the middle of the category! Sometimes people just need a quick and easy number to latch onto but in many instances, it turns out to be an inadequate measurement.

BMI is not even based on medical research. It was created for some social experiments by a Dutch mathematician named Adolphe Quetelet, and was used only for statistical purposes to group people. It can't be trusted as a measure of health.

it's sort of what I base myself now though because I don't have the caliper and I don't really want to dish out 20$ on something I'll only use like twice (beginning and end)

But I'm just looking at the differences between the numbers whether it's my weight (I know 1-2lbs can be fluctuations) and BMI

My Tanita scale calculates BMI and flashes a big "O" at me all the time to tell me I'm overweight, even though my body fat is now 12.9%.

Calipers and myotape are cheap and effective ($15 plus shipping) -- even if you don't measure BF%, just keeping a tally of your waist size, neck, thighs, biceps, etc. is a good way to measure progress.

A counselor once told me that a person's perception of their problem is what matters. You can't be a good motivator/counselor if you hold everyone up to the same measuring stick and pooh-pooh their concerns (unless they're overly concerned and it's harming them, in which case you may want to gently adjust their perspective somewhat).

A friend just told me today that they thought I was insane because my goal was to get to 12% BF. They still think I have body dysmorphic issues. In actuality I think I've become healthier in my goals since coming to Traineo, because I'm now focusing more on true health improvements and strength gains instead of just cosmetic gains.

There are always going to be people that think there's something wrong with those of us who love to work out and meet new personal fitness challenges. Many of my friends and family members are among them. But to them I say, "ha!" If only they knew how good it feels both physically and mentally to reach these goals. That's the real reward right there. And like Itadaki, I may be at my lowest body percentage ever, but I've never been so self-aware in all of my life.

I think, also on some level, they feel jealous that we (all people who workout and want to achieve their goal and actually DO something about it) are actually comitting and getting results!

and improving our body, both physically and mentally. And to them, I also say HA lol

Agreed, Ha to all them other people out there.