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traineo Community / Motivation Tips / How do you handle setbacks?
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J G
traineo Newbie
Posts: 25
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 # Posted: 19 Mar 2007 17:02


Well, after reaching my goal weight (which was timed to be for a wedding that I was in over the weekend), I completely splurged over the course of four days, and am now three pounds over the goal weight. It's very frustrating that I spent so many weeks losing around 6 pounds to get there, and now I have gained back half of the weight in just a few days. Today I have returned to my diet, but I am very discouraged that I gained back the weight so easily. I'm also discouraged that it was so hard to maintain self-control throughout all the wedding celebrations.

Does anyone else encounter setbacks like these? Does it take a long time to get back on track? I wanted to update my goal once I met my first one, but now my second goal seems so much more difficult to achieve.
Michael Jacobs
traineo Regular
Posts: 52
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 # Posted: 19 Mar 2007 18:49 - Edited by: umbrage


So over four days, you managed to eat at least 10,500 calories over your maintenance levels, and successfully converted and stored that as fat?

I mean, to put that in perspective:
That is 58 plain, glazed Dunkin Donuts, or
5.76 pounds of Cheddar cheese, or
a third of a gallon of olive oil, or
5.4 pounds of cake.

Do you really think you've managed to consume that much through splurging? My guess is no. Especially if you've been consuming around 1000 calories a day...this would be a gigantic change in the amount of food you physically take in.

Is this still a setback? Yes, because you've managed to cultivate a very punitive approach to your eating habits, instead of a gratifying one.

It's much easier to strive positively toward a goal than to fear failure. So the first step in handling this "setback" is to realize you are probably blowing the impact out of proportion. The second is to identify and change your mindset towards your diet, nutrition, and fitness goals. Your activities over the weekend are, at this point, spilled milk.

And were it three pounds worth of calories, it would be 4.5 gallons of spilled milk.
Christopher B
traineo Fanatic
Posts: 87
Post History
 # Posted: 19 Mar 2007 19:11


Unless you are perfect, there are going to be set backs, missed goals, and other frustrations. My trick has been to examine the situation to find the root cause.

Going to a party, like this wedding, is a great example of where I've had difficulty. You go to the party, you eat way more food than you need, maybe have a few drinks, and the next day you feel terrible and the scale is telling you that you destroyed several weeks worth of dieting and exercise.

First off, like Michael suggested, you probably did not gain three pounds. You probably ate a lot of salty food and are retaining some extra water along with some extra food still in your digestive system. Maybe you gained one pound. Not quite as bad.

Second, lack of willpower or lack of planning? That's an honest question. You have a plan when you go to the gym and probably a plan (or list) when you go to the grocery store, but did you make plans for the wedding? With my diet, I need to plan how I'll avoid going overboard or else I end up regretting it as much as when I don't make it to the gym.

Third, take something positive away from this. You can gain a little more insight to how you operate and you can learn from it. Some folks are great at eating right once they start, others of us need constant reminders.

Just my thoughts.


Zachary Wyatt
traineo Regular
Posts: 64
Post History
 # Posted: 19 Mar 2007 19:23


This also illustrates a larger point that reaching a goal, whether it's a target weight or a fitness level, isn't the end of the journey. If the efforts you made to get there aren't a lifestyle change, your successes will forever be temporary.

By all means: rock out at the wedding. That's what they're for! But now that it's over, get back into your routine and work to keep that weight off. No reason why you should only look/feel good for someone else's wedding. Do it for yourself, everyday!
Dave O
traineo Fanatic
Posts: 159
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 # Posted: 19 Mar 2007 19:28


wax on...wax off...

We all still have learning to do, unless we'd all be our ideal weight... Weight maintenance is the second half of this journey. Hard as hell until it clicks.

You're normal; very normal. Chances are that you've splurged on sodium treats and some of that weight is water retention. Just a gut feeling.

Keep going and realize next time when you've got that "feeling to eat!".
RaeVynn CroneWynd
traineo Fanatic
Posts: 104
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 # Posted: 20 Mar 2007 00:20


I'll see your setback, and raise you double-digit pounds!

Okay, that was an attempt at humor, but the fact is, I did lose 80 lbs 10 years ago, and I've put it all back on (plus the obligatory 10 lbs of friendly fat).

Now, I never intended to, but I'm also NOT beating myself up over it. There were, definitely, other things that were way more critical to my overall health than a few pounds here and there creeping up.

Right now, I'm back on the downward path *YAY*... and, I KNOW I can do it, cuz I've done it before!! *YAY YAY*

I'm also much smarter, my psyche is way more healed, and I have a MUCH better view of my SELF... and what makes me valuable (it isn't my weight)!

So, after a setback (like the mini-setback both me and my Dear Hubbs had this winter), I just get that goal back in my mind, remind myself that this is a lifelong ENJOYMENT of good health, activity, and fun eating (yes, I have fun being vegan!), and that I'm so worth the effort!

AND SO ARE YOU!!


blest
traineo Fanatic
Posts: 120
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 # Posted: 20 Mar 2007 01:17


You acheived your goal...then you partied a bit too hearty to celebrate it. Makes sense, really. Don't beat yourself up over it! You know how to do it, just get back on plan.

Also, was your plan too severe to start with? I mean, I have certain treats that are compatible with my program (South Beach all the way!) built into my life. I don't feel deprived- so there's no reason for me to splurge. If you were cutting back too far, that might have contributed to your going over to the dark side!


Angie lah
Fitness Guru
Posts: 645
Post History
 # Posted: 20 Mar 2007 01:33


Quoting: jgree
Does anyone else encounter setbacks like these? Does it take a long time to get back on track?


Honey we ALL have setbacks. Thankfully there are so many tools out there and so many people here that care enough to help you stand up, dust the dirt off your bum, and encourage you to get back in the saddle. So...(*pat*pat*pat*) get back on track...it only takes as long as you let it. Good luck! You CAN do this!
J G
traineo Newbie
Posts: 25
Post History
 # Posted: 20 Mar 2007 02:13


Quoting: raevynn
Right now, I'm back on the downward path *YAY*... and, I KNOW I can do it, cuz I've done it before!! *YAY YAY*

I'm also much smarter, my psyche is way more healed, and I have a MUCH better view of my SELF... and what makes me valuable (it isn't my weight)!


I'm glad you pointed that out! At the very least I do now have the benefit of knowing that I am capable of losing a few pounds, and this time around I will be much wiser when those opportunities to slip up arrive!
J G
traineo Newbie
Posts: 25
Post History
 # Posted: 20 Mar 2007 02:16


Quoting: blest
Also, was your plan too severe to start with? I mean, I have certain treats that are compatible with my program (South Beach all the way!) built into my life. I don't feel deprived- so there's no reason for me to splurge. If you were cutting back too far, that might have contributed to your going over to the dark side!


I don't think that my plan was too severe, since I wasn't losing more than 1-2 pounds a week on average. I do have a problem with always wanting to splurge on the weekends after a week of dieting, though. It's something that I really need to start being more careful about. Thanks for your encouragement!
Frank Bascio
traineo Regular
Posts: 42
Post History
 # Posted: 20 Mar 2007 13:50


A factor that I think is important as well is being honest about the set back and tracking it accordingly. For me (and you can spot them in my logs) it is a reminder that a day of a 4 or 5 diet day has a corresponding increase in weight and that if I don't counterbalance with consistently good meals and workouts it stays there for a while.
ana stasia
traineo Newbie
Posts: 5
Post History
 # Posted: 23 Apr 2007 01:13


Oh boy, I know the feeling...except in my case it was far more than 6 pounds. I lost about 25 pounds over three months quite a few years ago. It was nearly effortless...changing life circumstances, etc. etc. In the several years since then, I have put on every single last pound. I gained nearly a pound a month during one bad year. Every month!

Now I'm trying to take that weight off again. I'm just starting though...not at the finish line where you are! So...at least you don't have to start all over again. At least you did achieve your goal. You got to the finish line and just got knocked off a bit. That's all. (Can you tell I am a bit envious that you really did achieve your goal? Way to go!!)

Good luck!
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